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Thread: Do I Love Her?!?

  1. #11
    WH Moderator - JUNE 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH- Array KMonte85's Avatar
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    It does sound sort of manipulating to me. If she was going to leave her bf, then why didn't she do it BEFORE you told her you were going to stop communicating with her.

    And why did she word it like an FYI.. "hey, I know we're not talking anymore or whatever. Thats cool. Just wanted to tell you I'm single now. Just sayin'...."

    Sounds like a classic bait and switch. Beware, and just stay the course is my advice.
    Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson



  2. #12
    WH MODERATOR Array Beautiful Disaster's Avatar
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    I think Kmonte hit the nail on the head.

    And I must say that I am VERY impressed in your willingness to acknowledge that you are lonely......and that it's not even about her. Some of the most reflective, spiritual growth times I have experienced are when I'm alone.

    When you spend time alone, you deal with you. You learn about you.....and that's crucial to being a good well rounded mate for someone.

    Agree with Hopeless Dork too....at this point, you don't have to determine your love for someone. The point is, you don't really want to be with this girl. And the longer you spend entangled in her drama.......the longer you waste time you could be spending with someone truly worth it. If you said "I really want to be with her...".....that would be different. I'd say go for it. But you don't.......

    Best of luck to you. I'm sure she'll bug you to death.

  3. #13
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    Yeah, she started already...texting me and all that, calling me(no answer from me though) and launching guilt-makers like "i gave up everything for you and now you won't even talk to me". These used to work back in the day, but no more. I will walk tall this time and live my life. Thanks for being there for me even though you don't know me, but "beware", I will come back with more info about this telenovella. Fact is, I'm starting to feel better already and I feel I can see the bigger picture clearly now. Oh, thanks again

  4. #14
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Chantalemma's Avatar
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    I am glad you feel better. They way I see it is that you want her when you want her. You don't want anybody else to have her, but you like the feeling that she is running after you. You like to feel special. We all do sometimes. I think you are better off to keep your dictances. If ever it was meant to be, you will reconnect another time. Do what is best for you and don't let her play any guilt trips.

  5. #15
    WH MODERATOR Array Beautiful Disaster's Avatar
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    Good for you!

  6. #16
    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny Boy View Post
    Yeah, she started already...texting me and all that, calling me(no answer from me though) and launching guilt-makers like "i gave up everything for you and now you won't even talk to me".
    Who's to say it wasn't her intent to break up with her boyfriend anyway... and is now lonely and using her break up to guilt you back with her. She's a big girl, she made the decision to break up all on her own. It may have been cause she wanted back with you --- it may have had NOTHING to do with you but she's weaved you into it for a bonus manipulation at getting you back.

    Either way, I'd step back and do what YOU want... not out of guilt, not out of regret, not out of hope for things to change or be different.... if you get involved again do it strictly because you want to try having fun and being happy with her. Any other reason will lead to misery.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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