Thread: Dilemma

You gave his ring back, but in your mind only as a way to make him commit to a date?

When you use such a symbol as leverage like that, you take away it's meaning.

Nonetheless, Sounds to me like this man is in no way shape or form ready for marriage. Probably gave you the ring to keep from losing you. He's not ready. Count your blessings that he's smart enough to let you know these things......count your blessings that he's smart enough to know that he doesn't want to make the same mistake twice.

I know you've been dating a long time.....but why the need to get married just yet? If it's something incredibly important to you then you need to think about the fact that it may never be important to this man. He's unsure. He has questions, doubts etc. Thank GOODNESS he's not going through with something he has doubts about. Because in the long run that would be damaging to him, to you, and to your son. He says he's not ready to be a stepfather? Well, you have a son. That's not going to change. A man that cannot accept your child? A deal breaker. You are the love of his life? If thats true, then that means your son is too right? Yet he doesn't want to marry you because you have a child.

Now may be a good time to take a step back, calm down, stop worrying about whether or not your friends think you should be married, or should've set a date. Think about what is TRULY important to you. Talk to him when you're calm and tell him how you feel. Be honest with him, be honest with yourself.

What do YOU want for you and for your son?

Can he give you that? Is he willing to?

Outside of the marriage thing, does he truly make you happy, give you what you need, have the kind of relationship with your son that a man you want to spend the rest of your life with should have?

If NO, then you must either accept what he is willing to give, or move on. Harsh as it may sound..... most importance here: You and your son.