Thread: Recently found out my finacee unfaithful/lied to me

Thanks for all the feedback. The whole situation started when I got upset at her for lying about something completely unrelated, then I started to question some other things because I noticed that her reactions to me werent the same anymore, and at this point it was already supposedely done with (End of July). There was a period of time that I didnt say "you're hot" ,aor "I want you" as much, but always...told her how much I love her, before either of us left, the phone, beofre bed, aftewaking up, etc. I always tried to make her feel special by always waiting for her, opening doors for her, asking her what she wanted to do, always completely respectful of her.

Also, the things she did were the things she was paranoid about me doing in the past, and I always reassured her she is the only one for me. Then after a month or so of being upset, I felt that she was holding something back, not telling me the whole truth. I continued to question her, and on 10-30 she finally caved in and told me what I had feared all along. So he started hitting on her in Feb., this continued until the end of May without her saying or reciprocating the gestures back (so she says), then at the beginning of June she said she started to feel attracted back and begin saying that he was hot and that she wanted him back. This lasted for a month and then she said for him to leave her alone as it was affecting how she felt about me, and she didnt want that. However, she told him to back off at the beginning of July and she was willing to keep it a secret yet until I got upset about other things at the beginning of September....still lying to me....it took another 2 months for her to come clean....and this wouldve been 4 months since it ended. She says she felt really ashamed and didnt want to hurt me at any cost, but she can lie to my face with ease and choose to do so. not only that, he started hitting on her in Feb, why not tell me then if not interested? I dont understand how it could have gone on that long, and then afterwards, lie to me about it continuosly for months...all the way until a couple weeks ago, especially if nothing "sexual" ever happened...like I said the most that happened according to her was a kiss on the cheek a couple of times.

She says she cant believe she would act in all the ways she was fearful of me acting, when I didnt!!!! She says she regrets it, but she also says that if wouldnt have gotten upset earlier about other things...she probably wouldve never told me cuz she wanted to forget about it and move on. This all gets even more frustrating that during this time (Late september) on our anniversary, I begged her to tell me any and everything before that day, she swore up and down that she has, did, and always will. Then on our anniversary I proposed to her with the ring I had saved for all year and kept hidden since June...all such great timing.

Then, she accepted, reassured me some more, but I still felt like she was lying, so I still questioned her some more and about a month later, she spills it...and said that "she never wanted to hurt me, ever" She also said she felt "bad" the whole time it happened...but if she felt bad, why would she let it continue? She said she didnt wanted a relationshiop with him as he was in one as well, and she also said that she would never let herself let it go beyond that point that it was, so why continue if you wont let yourself (supposedly) even kiss him, still want to be with me, feel bad, and then be okay with lying about it for months???