Any way you stack it, he was out of line.
Worth ruining your marriage for? Probably not.
But you guys need to talk.
Good luck.
agree
I don't trust him either...And if I tell him I found these messages, he would lie about it....gut feeling. I'm not sure how to approach it because talking to him, confronting him in the past on behaviors as caused him to shut down more...good advice thoOriginally Posted by caterpillar79
TY
I found out because he was going through his messages and showed me one and I saw hers below..then, I got VERY curious. When I asked him why she is telling him she loves him, he said it's like how I tell my girlfriends, "Love ya.." Bull. OK. I tell my girlfriend from HS that is still my best friend, "Love you" but after 30 years..that comes natural.
He's lying,...just feel it.
I don't know if we have a "marriage" because these kinds of lies and games are not new...I'm actually tired of all the lies I have caught him in..and he always has this GREAT excuse, or reason...then, he seems to make me feel "Stupid" for asking....like he always has an answer and I'm "over the top"
I know I need to confront him and say < "No more contact" but he has this way of saying I'm over-reacting to a woman he says was "Stalking" him...so, you tell a woman who was "Stalking" you.."I Love you too?" Odd...very odd..putting pieces together.
Well then it's not about him thinking you will jump the gun and assume something that is not there, hense "stalking comment" from what you have just stated, this is on-going, different situations, always caught in a lie but not enough to actually "catch him", whereby he finds excuses and is happy with those excuses, generally, pointing the blame back to you, your over reacting, not seeing properly, blah blah.
I guess you have to actually "catch him".
Are you sure though, seeing as you "snooped" that your not seeing into things? That he's not covering because you always suspect him? Have you snooped before and he's found out?
Just asking, to make sure.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
The last guy that told me I was "insecure", "over the top", turned out to be the master of all lies. Cheated the entire time, lied about himself in so many different ways, truly made me believe he was someone total opposite of who he actually is. Well actually, he wasn't all that great at it, I was just blind. When something happens, he gives you some explanation, and in your GUT you know that's not enough for you to put it behind you, then keep digging.
But don't dig unless you want to make discoveries, because you will. And once you find them, you must be ready to deal with them........they can never be buried again. Some people say ignorance is bliss. Not me....knowledge is power.
I am friends with almost all of my exes and the majority of my close, long time friends are male. (I actually only have one close female friend) I tell all of my friends. 'I love you' 'miss you' etc. and they say it back. Or vice-versa. It can truly be plutonic. But everyone I've ever dated knows this about me so there aren't any surprises and my close friends are something that comes with the package, take it or leave it.
(the wink thing is suspect though, as is the saying she's a stalker)
Honestly, it sounds like you guys just need to communicate a little more. It doesn't sound like anything is really up with them but he may be trying to cover it up because he's afraid you'll be mad. Not sure. He shouldn't be having a conversation like that without you knowing full well what is between them.
sounds fishy to mee. i dont think its innocent
I texted "Love you too" to a neighbor of mine when she texted "I love you ****"" It wasn't innocent , it wasn't questionable. She tells me she wishes we weren't married (to other people) and we hang out , drink , and say very inappropriate things. She has grabbed me (there) and shown me the current color of her nipples (complaining that they are no longer pink after childbirth). I know where my situation is headed. I'm working up the courage to post and beg someone to talk me out of it , but it's not something I would say to a woman outside a committed relationship unless I had misbehavior on my mind. Seriously , I would clamp down on this immediately. Maybe it's my guilty conscience talking , but it sounds dangerous. IMO
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