Thread: No-one ever said life was fair..

..but no-one told me it could be this (EDIT) up either.

It wouldn't be right if people could have everything. The world would be more of a (edit) than it is already and people would be even bigger w*nkers than they already are. Life would be boring and we could never really appreciate what we have.

But when you've spent a big chunk of your life suffering, every night crying yourself to the point of exhaustion, having to be literally dragged out of bed even on christmas day, countless nights spent just staring at the ceiling in a daze, wishing to God with everything that you have that you could just have SOMEBODY to love you.

Family love you've never felt, friends just take what they can get then fade away. All you want is to feel capable of love, spend even a day feeling human, not numb. Have somebody there to come home to, to wrap your arms around, to feel their heart beat, to know that they love you as much as you love them.

Then one day, when you're at the lowest you've been in years, ready to just drift away from your life like anyone you've ever cared about has done to you before, you meet someone who is even more perfect than anyone you could ever have dreamt up. Genuine, honest, faithful, funny, loving. Perfect.

Knowing that this incredible person loves you just as much as you love them, knowing your life would be nothing without that person in it, never having felt so much emotion for someone like this. Never believing anyone before when they tell you you are beautiful, that you are a good person, that you are good enough, that you are strong enough to face anything that is thrown at you. Learning to appreciate who you are and all the years of that you have suffered.

You would sacrifice anything to spend your life with this person and you do. Giving up your job, your home, your social life.. Moving to literally the otherside of the country.

Now your life is the complete opposite of what it was. You don't have a job, everyone you know is miles away, you feel a bit useless and lazy struggling to get a job, make friends, have something to do during the day other than clean the house and wait for the person you worship to come back home to you.

Only now, you have that person in your life. You have a reason to wake up everyday, just so you can look over in the morning and see them lying next to you. So you can spend the day with them, so you can enjoy life, your life with them. Your relationship is perfect and you would give up everything all over again for this person, if you had to, if they asked. But, really, what's it all worth?

Everyday you are feeling more and more worthless. Six months have passed and still you can't find a job, you feel asthough you are 'spongeing', taking advantage of that person. You start to lack the motivation to do anything, then you start to lack the energy. You get lonely during your partner's long shifts at work and have no-one to talk to, nothing to do. You start to feel worthless, lose your self-respect, constantly feel guilty, unmotivated, useless. You may start questioning what is best for this person who you worship so much. Surely it would be better if you left them? Both of you would be devastated, it would take probably forever for you to get over eachother. But you would be able to get your lives back on track. Would you do it? Would that be the right thing to do? Let's face it, either way you're going to suffer, hate yourself.

All the sacrifices would've been for nothing. All the promises would have been meaningless, fade away like everything else. But maybe that person you love and worship so much would be better off, eventually. Though they wouldn't see it at the time.

How do you know what's right? Do you follow your head or your heart?
Maybe giving up the one thing that makes you happy is the final sacrifice.

True love (and i can't stress that enough), or self-worth and stability?