Friends and weddings
A co-worker invited me to her wedding, it's coming up in March. We work in a restaurant (quick, easy money to get through college). We have never really hung out outside of work- the extent of that is hang out in the bar after work and talk and have a shift drink. Well here's the question- I'm wondering what to do about her present. She's registered at 3 places, 2 are more pricey stores in general, 1 is a common department store in the US....but I think they picked out the most expensive things they sell there! My boyfriend was not invited (due to money issues, since we're only coworkers), so I figured one less person to say the gift is from, so I won't spend as much. I really can't afford anything on her registry without looking like an idiot. For example, it would look dumb if I only gave her a plate she wants, but yet the darn thing costs $60! So I'm thinking just a gift card to one place they're registered at- but how much is reasonable? I struggle with money since I'm in school, but I don't want to go empty handed or cheap-looking.
Remember that gifts are about the thought, not about who bought what and who spent how much.
I'm sure your co-worker would just be happy with the thought; I don't know anyone who wouldn't be.
Of course she wouldn't be offended. I'm sure she will understand. She probably won't even think of it like that anyway.
Love isn't about finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly <3
Gift Registries are just suggestions for the guests, not a requirement! Even though some soon-to-wed couples may not see it that way!
I think a gift card to on of the stores on the registry is a great idea! Undoubtedly as she goes through her married life she is going to need something she didn't get as a gift from other guests, then she'll have your gift card on hand to get what she would want.
Spend what you think is appropriate for an aquantance - you definitely do not have to feel pressured into spending money you don't have on someone who is not even a close friend. Anything you give her is considered a gift - a GIFT. You could give her $5 and it should be accepted with the same graciousness and gratitude as a $500 gift.
So, what I'm saying is, spend what you are comfortable spending, given your student status!
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Are there any other co-workers invited? If so why not pool your resources and purchase a gift from the group?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I like WC's idea...maybe you could all pool your resources between 8-10 of you and get her a nice gift but only have to contribute like $20-25 each?Originally Posted by WildChild
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
-Andy Rooney
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward
Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale
do the gift card thing. a friend of mine got married a few years ago and she did the same thing. i looked at the registry and the stuff was crazy over priced. and it's also weird where you can buy like one plate and she was looking for 12 for a set. what if only 5 people pick to give a plate?
card is just so much easier, that way she can decide which she really wants most.
i was always told at least enough to cover whatever the "seat cost" for the caterer per person would be. A few times I didnt want to spend that much, so I just sent a gift and didnt attend.
Last edited by sperosi; 01-15-2010 at 08:03 AM. Reason: didnt answer the real question, added it!
well thank you everyone! I'm going to work tonight so I will see what the other girls are doing. It's not many of us, I'd say maybe 5 other girls were invited. Thank you for all of the ideas!
Maybe its just me, but I find gift registries somewhat distasteful. It feels like an attempt to recoup the investment in the wedding. I'd much prefer a cheap informal wedding (more fun for all), and gifts as minor personal things.
I don't mind registries, I think they can be helpful.
But, you are certainly free to give the gift card...or join with others to 'upgrade'..some coworkers I know recently did that for a baby shower.
C'mon girls - let's have some FUN!
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