Scared Of Deployment.

**LiLp** · 01-26-2010 03:33 AM

Me and the bo have been together 6 months. I love hiim so much cause he's become my best frend. My confidant. He's motivation and the confidence I need when I feel like I don't have anymore.

Now we have less then 10 weeks until hiis deployment and I'm afraid its takin its toll.

I was at school, doin my own, talkin to hiim casual over text. All of a sudden he tells me he doesn't kno if we're gonna make it. He doesn't expect me to wait for hiim, or that he doesn't want the worry/stress put on me.

I want hiim to talk to me about how he's feelin but not to the doubtin point. I try not doubt us. Heck since he's been gone thiis month I've been figuring out ways we can have decent contact(skpe and such) and a gift to give hiim before he goes. Tryin to make our last 2 months together unforgetable(I see hiim weekends). Hence the whole new sex tips, and us goin skydiving..

He hates when I go out with the friends and is worried about me drinkin and guys..All that..He says he has trust but it doesn't feel that way when he's blowing up my phone continuesly when I don't answer when I'm out.
When he's gone I plan on still goin out with buddies, how can I get hiim to relax so when he leaves he doesn't kill hiim self with doubts.

Thiis deployment hasn't happen yet and is already takin its toll. I've heard of couples fightin I just didn't want us gettin to the point where he's thinkin about breakin up before he goes..Thats the worst possible plan he could have.

I gave hiim time to thiink about thiings and make up hiim mind, and figure thiings out.

Idk. Thiis our first deployment, and its just getting a bit scary. Almost brings me to tears(I don't even wanna see that movie dear jon cause I know i'll be ballin when its over...and it looked so cute!)

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-26-2010 03:43 AM

He hates when I go out with the friends and is worried about me drinkin and guys

It's fear sweetheart.

Men know exactly what "men" are like, in as much as they will do anything to get a girl into bed, if they are, that type of male, not ready to settle just play..

He hasn't the confidence and he's frightened he trusts you I am sure ,but he does have some jealousy issues, which I think is a result of true fear.

The last thing someone who is deployed wants to hear is that "sorry, I've found someone else, or "hey man, your lady was out with someone else, or worse, slept with someone else"...

If you love this guy start to really re-assure him that you intend to wait, that he doesn't have to fear but really make sure you mean it.

CW

**Little** · 01-26-2010 08:22 AM

That Dear John movie drives me up the wall. The way a Dear John letter is supposed to read is, "Dear John, I hate to write, but I married your brother last night." Turning that into a romantic thing is ridiculous.
I've been where you are, and I've posted responses to your threads before.
A deployment is like a tornado. Depending on the strength of your "house," it can tear it apart or just blow some shingles around.
Do not expect that he'll have Skype. My ex had access to his Army email only. You can cross your fingers, but don't depend on it. Some places only have phones, and that's for every man there ... you'd get one five minute phone call intermittently.
Go on facebook and look for a group for Marine girlfriends or wives. They are usually very supportive. Find one that's quite active. They can give you ideas for care packages, ways to deal, songs to listen to that will help you through. Marine deployments are not very long compared to other branches.
I told you in your last thread to very carefully scrutinize your relationship. Did you ever do it? It's a very scary thing to have to do. You obviously love this man. You don't want to think that this deployment is going to ruin your love, but it has that potential and you need to be honest with yourself about it. You also need to be honest with yourself about yourself.
Military relationships CAN work. They work out for hundreds, thousands of people every day. But they also fail every day. If you decide halfway through this deployment to break up with him because you can't deal with it, or even worse, you end up cheating on him (not accusing you of being the kind of person who'd do this, but it does happen - it happened to me) then you could be endangering his life. He doesn't need distractions while he's on the front lines. If you honestly don't think you can get through the deployment with him, it MIGHT be a better choice to take a break now.
These are all options. I'm not trying to convince you to break up with him, but I am trying to convince you to take a LONG hard look at your situation.
Is your love a brick house with a storm shelter? Or a mobile home? Only you know the answer, and only you can make the decision.

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