Thread: What to do....

I'd have to agree with everyone else. I know it's common to want to spend every waking minute with someone you care about, or to see them as much as possible, but honestly, sometimes a little absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. If you're always around, it's easy sometimes to take someone for granted or even to start to feel smothered. Spend some time with your friends or doing things you want to do as well. Hopefully he'll realize he misses you being there

Originally Posted by tritonalum07

Lately, my boyfriend has become a little distant.

. . .

But, I'm wondering if he just feels smothered lately and needs some time to breathe. What do you ladies think? Should I not call/show up for a while and see what happens? I've never loved someone the way I love him, and I don't want to sabotage our relationship by smothering him if that's what I'm doing. Thanks for the advice....

Have you come right out and asked him?

many people just never ask the direct question.

I'm beginning to wonder if he's depressed. I stopped by his work yesterday (he's rarely busy at work and his bosses don't care) and he seemed happy to talk to me and see me. I told him that I'd realized I'd been smothering him (yes, I realize the irony of apologizing for that and showing up at his job) and that I realize I'm not his mother, but his girlfriend. I let him know that I'm not going to show up at his house or work anymore, and I won't be coming over until he calls me. He was very affectionate, the most he's been in a week, and repeatedly told me he loved me. He was also genuinely concerned when he saw me because I looked sad, and he flat out said "you don't know look like you're doing too well, let's sit down and talk."

That was yesterday morning around ten. He didn't call last night, and he hasn't called at all yet today, despite the fact that he can use the phone at work. His calls have become less and less frequent lately. I have an anxiety disorder and I'm in school, a bad combination when I'm having a big relationship issue like this. If he's depressed, I can understand him throwing himself into his work and acting like no one else exists, BUT I feel like it's also unfair for him to not recognize that my anxiety is OUT OF CONTROL right now. I feel like I don't even have a boyfriend. We've NEVER had problems. Once in a while we have an argument, but I'd say we probably argue less than most couples. We're very open and honest with each other. His behavior suggests to me that he's either very depressed--and with his financial situation and social circumstances, I would be too--or he's about to break up with me. Is it unfair of me to drive to his house later and let him know how I'm feeling without being a typical woman and nagging/yelling/degrading him? We're supposed to be best friends, and if my female best friend was behaving this way, I'd be at her doorstep in a snap. I don't feel like if he's depressed he should be alone. What should I do?