Confusing Situation

**born2Bgoalie** · 01-26-2010 12:12 PM

Hello,

I am really confused about this one kid that I really like. Both of us play hockey and we skate at a skating rink every weekend, which is the only time I see him because we go to different schools. When I'm there, he occasionally tries to include me in conversations with his friends and sometimes he just shows up where I am. Sometimes he'll catch me alone and just ask some questions (ex. have you seen my new picture on myspace, or hey do you mind if I change in front of you?) those are the best 2 I can think of. In person, I could swear he likes me. However, when we aren't there, he doesn't talk to me. I'm friends with him on myspace, facebook and also have his cell #, but he never answers my texts, but will sometimes answer me on myspace. One time I commented on his picture and said "Cute =], you should default this =]" and he did. When we are at the skating rink, he is ALWAYS the one to start talking to me. I'd say 9/10 times he starts it, but then like I said he doesn't answer my texts or anything. It's weird! Well, if you guys can help me, I greatly appreciate it. I was just wondering how greatly the fact he doesn't answer my texts effects whether he likes me or not. We are both 16 if you are wondering also. If you need any more info, ask. Thanks in advance for reading, it is greatly appreciated.

-Emily

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-26-2010 01:06 PM

Next time he cozies up to you and asks about his new picture or some other little conversation starter, ask him if he got the text you sent the other day, don't do it in a snappy way, but in a more casual fun way....

See how he reacts to that, if he appologizes that he didn't get back to you... if he shrugs and moves along... you might have more of an idea on how he see's you outside of just someone to pal around with when you are there.

If you do send a text, be sure to ask a question at the end of it. A lot of people, ESPECIALLY guys, will see a message that is a statement and feel it doesn't need to be responded to. "I had captain cruch for breakfast" you send, he reads goes ahhh neat... puts phone back in pocket. Not dismissing it, but not thinking it needed to be addressed either. "I had captain crunch for breakfast. What did you have?" Puts the ball in his court.

He has something to answer. If he doesn't... it could be seen as blowing off. Obviously I don't expect you to talk to him about breakfast cereals lol, that was just for an example

**born2Bgoalie** · 01-26-2010 02:17 PM

Yeah I totally get what you mean. He only answered me one time. I asked if he was going skating to which he replied no. Then I said "oh alright. so what's up?" and never got a reply. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's a gamer and does video games a lot.. So that might have something to do with it. Although I've tried asking if he'd want to hang out or something and I've never gotten a reply, but he hardly answers my texts to begin with, so I never thought anything of it. My one other friend that works and the skating rink ( hes 21) was texting this kid I like because apparently he wanted to buy a tv off of the 21 yr old. However it got to the point where the kid I like never answered his texts about the tv either, so it seems like it just might not be me that he's ignoring..

(Plus I kind of did what you already said. He posted his # on myspace and was like, text me, so I did. Didn't get a reply. The next time I saw him I was like "hey did you get my text?" hes like "no I don't think so.. I don't delete my texts and never got one from a number I didn't know. Just send me one now." I did and then he sent a text back saying he got it. So either he's really nice about it, and doesn't want me texting him, or he really wanted to make sure I had his number. I'm not sure and still confused.)

**sperosi** · 01-26-2010 03:34 PM

some people are just horrible returning text messages, so you cant always go by that.

look at his eyes and face when he talks to you. if he looks away a lot or stares out off into space, he may not be interested if he's not a shy person.

**born2Bgoalie** · 01-26-2010 04:01 PM

Yeah.. That's why I'm trying not to go solely off of that. I mean as I said, he wanted to change in front of me. He made sure I was over there before he even came over, he looked as he skated by and I saw him look at me and then he stopped, came over, sat next to me and started talking to me like we had been friends for a long time. He mostly stares into my eyes when he's talking to me, when he took off his shirt, even as he did, he kept looking straight at me (even though it was hard for me to do the same, if ya get what I mean

hahaha) but other than that I could swear he likes me. And I'm just kind of sick of this nonsense that he doesn't answer my texts that maybe if he comes up and talks to me the next time we are skating I might, just might ask him out, although I'm not sure if that's the best idea.

**sperosi** · 01-26-2010 04:20 PM

some people are just like that, and if you want to pursue things realize that may never change with him. unless you know for a fact that he immediately responds to other people's texts, it probably means nothing.

go with the eyes!

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-26-2010 04:42 PM

My boyfriend isn't a phone person. When I first started seeing him I thought he was blowing me off with short answers or not getting back at all.

I soon realized that it wasn't just me, he was like that with everyone and quit taking it personal.

But as our relationship took off he began to understand how important it is to me that he reply at some point, he saw that little effort made me much happier and he's really good with me now on that. Its not his thing but he does it for me

So my point is , yeah, this guy might not be one of those guys focused on their phones 24\7. Try to figure out his prefferred method of communication. Maybe he'd rather have u call than text.

**born2Bgoalie** · 01-26-2010 04:46 PM

Yeah. I understand that. The only thing is if he says on Myspace "text me" and I do, and don't get an answer then what? But what I don't get is even if he doesn't always answer me online, he asked if I saw his new picture on myspace, which I did, but it's like he wanted my opinion or just even to see if I was paying attention maybe? I'm not sure. But if he doesn't answer me on Myspace, but asks me if I saw his new picture on Myspace, what do you think that is supposed to mean?

**newhere808** · 01-26-2010 10:57 PM

Considering your age, is it possible that it could be an issue with his parents monitoring him? I remember how my mother was, it was always ok for my three older sisters to have their guys friends over, but if mom saw me flirting with a girl, that lady would give a look that would make an athiest pray to god!

I could definately understand the frustration though, especially after being plainly told to text him, and then not getting a response, it is kind of odd.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-26-2010 11:10 PM

I would say that maybe he's shy... but since he's comfortable talking to you in person that kinda seems less likely. Perhaps he doesn't have much experience with girls and doesn't really know how to proceed. Have you given him any indicators that you like him? I mean it should be obvious by the fact you contacted him, said he was cute... etc I kind of think you gave him all the vibe you can give and the balls in his court really.

I'd wait til you run into him again, try to keep the conversation going...about any thing whether its mutual friends, movies, soemthing you saw on tv... etc.. involve him, ask him questions etc...

If he gives you a good vibe, wait a couple days and send him a message that ends in a way that would prompt him to respond like we talked about earlier.

If he doesn't get back to you, you might just want to back off all together... if he's interested he'll come around and if not, it'll fizzle but I wouldn't keep up the texting and my space msgs if he continues to space them... it'll just make you seem pushy.

If he does get back, within a reasonable time (by the next day at least, in case phone was off, etc) then just try to volley a convo there. Its typically (I know, its 2010 ladies, you can poke me in the eye with a stick for this) better to let the guy ask you out first.

Guys appreciate a confident woman, and some are excited by getting asked out by one their attracted to but there is still a lot of guys that have to be the one doing the chasing, they have to feel like they've earned you... if you chase them too easily they might feel you'd just chase anyone that easy and they don't always see your worth that way. (its so lame, I know. )

I don't follow the 'rules' I do whatever I want... once my guy asked me out, i held back nothing and would ask him out any time I wanted, never played hard to get , no games. But I did let him be the one to make the first move for asking me out... thats something I think that after all our advancement of women... is still something a lot of men like to be the one to do.

But then their are guys that are shy, or just prefer to be the chasee and not the chaser so what I am saying isn't true for everyone.

I think you are safe to inniciate communication with him, but I wouldn't ask him out unless he gives you real signs of interest, and if he does that... hopefully he'll ask you out first anyway :P