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Thread: Desire to rekindle....

  1. 02-02-2010 11:58 PM #1
    sunnyday
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    Unhappy Desire to rekindle....

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    I made a post on here a while back about my relationship. The relationship ended 5 months ago due to my insecurities and inability to trust. I was very immature in the relationship and made constant false accusations out of my own paranoia of losing him. As a result, I pushed him away. I clearly was heartbroken, but I knew it was for the best. After we broke up, I did counseling and have been improving myself each day. But one part that I have had trouble dealing with is getting over him. He acted like it would be okay for us to be friends after breaking up and that he would be there for me, but I couldn't do it and try to get over him at the same time so therefore we have not been in contact since we broke up 5 months ago. I have thought of him so much (everyday) since we broke up and have had many nights where I would do anything in my might to not email him. While me not contacting him was to help me get over him, here I am still not over him. I obviously know that sort of thing takes time, but what if I don't really want to put it to rest? We were so good together if you just take away the negativity I brought into our relationship due to my insecurities. It's only been 5 months so I'm obviously not perfect and never will be, but I keep heading in the direction of bettering myself each day. I still have the hopes of us being together again one day. Even if that's not the case, I still will always care about him and wonder how he's doing. Is it wrong and a bad idea to email just to see how my ex is doing and see where it leads whether it turns out we both still love each other or be it that he just doesn't respond and I know I have to let go for good? I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I know what I want to do. But each time I go to do it, I'm at a lost for words. I'm afraid of saying the wrong things. Plus, who knows what in the world his thoughts are.. I've been beating myself up over this and what to do so I had hoped I could get some opinions from others.

    Thanks in advance.
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  2. 02-03-2010 12:23 AM #2
    newhere808
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    Well if he felt that he could still be friends with you, I see no wrong in you making contact with him as a friend. I would advise you to move forward cautiously though, there is always the possibility that he may have moved on, or he could miss you just as bad. You never really know and should be careful not to approach the situation with too much expectation.

    If the two of you do end up getting back together, I think you owe it to him to be upfront with what you've gone through and what your still working through moving forward.
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  3. 02-03-2010 01:49 AM #3
    Hopeless Dork
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    If he was happy with you and the only reason for the break up was the constant accusations... removing the constant accusations from the equation could bring about a relationship that works.

    How did it end, when he said that you guys could be friends... etc... Did he just tell you he didn't think it was going to work out if you can't trust him? How did you handle the break up?

    All of those things might play a role in how willing he might be to give it another go.

    But I don't think you have much to lose by emailing him. If nothing else it will give you closure. You don't have to say immediately that you want another shot... instead just say something to effect of its been a while, hope you've been okay, hows your cat? Just something light.

    I wouldn't go into an epic discussion until you get a response from him initially. If he does get back you can explain how you have been bettering yourself and wanted to appologise for the way you handled the relationship etc... etc..

    If he doesn't get back to you, you get your closure... and you can move forward with life lessons learned.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
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  4. 02-06-2010 03:24 PM #4
    CHANDLERS WISH
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    just don't know what the right thing to do is. I know what I want to do. But each time I go to do it, I'm at a lost for words. I'm afraid of saying the wrong things. Plus, who knows what in the world his thoughts are..

    The right thing to do is what you feel...

    It doesn't matter of the outcome, the longer you leave it the more chance you have of never saying what ever it is you wanted to say...

    Be brave, and just do it.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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