Husband and boyfriend
First off , i am married and i love my husband very much, but he's not as affectionate as i am and it leaves me wanting something more..i don't want to leave my hubby or lose him but i also have a boyfriend..i love my boyfriend as much as i love my husband and the thought of losing him kills me but i know i can't go on the way i am..my husband loves and trusts me completely and i can't continue hurting him..how do i let go of boyfriend and remain mostly happy with my husband?
Last edited by countrygirl95; 02-05-2010 at 03:04 AM. Reason: TYPO
CG
Any chance of an open honest relationship w/ both? If not, you gotta end one or the other. And, ya gotta think that if your bf will have a secrete relationship w/ you, he'll do it with other women too.
Whatever you do, do it now. Continued dishonesty is serious trouble.
P
You choose the man you want to be with and break up with the other. You have to choose between someone you love who is not equally affectionate as you and apparently leaves you dissatisfied but also offers you convenience and security, and a man who gives you affection but obviously has morality issues and there's a chance he'd cheat on you as well.
The most 'reasonable' thing to do is end it with the boyfriend, try to repair the relationship with your husband, make him understand that his lack of affection affects you a lot and makes you unhappy, and then take it from there. You're obviously unhappy in your marriage, if you weren't you wouldn't have started a relationship, so it is up to you to choose what is best for you. Cheating is never a good choice, but it can make you think about what it is you are missing in your marriage and if it is worth saving.
What stressed said.Originally Posted by stressed
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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You have to chose one or the other or get them on board with a poly relationship.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I agree with Stressed and Cat, though I do question the idea of "i love my boyfriend as much as i love my husband". I personally find the thought that you love your husband, but you have a boyfriend to be a contradiction. I would say before making a choice of "who", I think you should make a personal choice as to "why" behind the decision.
I have to say you are right to question what i've said.i do love my boyfriend but after reading this i can't honestly say that i love him more than hubby. my husband and I have been through so much together that the love and connection between us is far stronger than between my boyfriend and I.as to another post that said if boyfriend would secretly see me , why would he not cheat on me too,, I've never thought of it that way..I thank you all for your advice.
Talk to him seriously and explain you need to feel loved, and you know he's your world but things are missing which you need.
Book a night away, before you go, show old photos from your albulm of each other, when you met...
Sometimes, it's the time you've been together, you become "best friends" and if you don't keep it alive from the inset, it gets stale and turns more to friendship.
Off course you need to feel loved, held, kissed, we all do, men too.
Perhaps he needs a reminder of who this beautiful woman was that he once married.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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