How to know FOR SURE when to take it to another level

**SomiticPit** · 02-07-2010 11:44 AM

The man I have been seeing for the past three months is an ex-boyfriend of mine whom I dated then for almost a year. Since I have started seeing him recently, we have rekindled the romance that I believe was never meant to be put out. We seperated because I aborted his baby, which he wanted me to keep. He has since forgiven me for that, and we have quickly fallen back in love and I feel like even though we have changed, we both still fit together perfectly.

He always tells me that he is going to marry me, and wants to start a family with me, of course, only in good time.

The thing is, I feel the same.

But I don't know if I am just being naive, or I am caught up in an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been a risk-taker and always nit-pick every situation before I jump into it.

We are going to move in together later this year. Until I figure out what my heart needs, I am going to take baby steps. But, I was wondering, how do you KNOW? He says, I'll only know once I feel no doubt about it. I guess I feel doubts or else I wouldn't be questioning it. I just don't know. Thanks in advance.

**sourpuss** · 02-07-2010 11:49 AM

We never know anything for sure because nothing is ever for sure. That's the beauty of life. Unfortunately, you are female and we all tend to over analyze everything and often times put way to much thought into something rather than following our hearts and being ok with whatever the outcome is.

Since it's only been a few months, I think you should just enjoy what you have at the moment, afterall this beginning stage is always the most exciting of a relationship. Don't complicate it by over thinking 5-10 years down the road.

**sperosi** · 02-07-2010 01:24 PM

if you feel you have to ask if its ok to take things to the next level, then it's not ok.

if you just feel like its time to take it to the next level without having to ask, then it probably is.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-07-2010 02:37 PM

Moving in together is a big step but your saying later this year, so I would just go with the flow for now and see exactly where your heart does take you.

It isn't what you "really" want now, if it was you'd be excited, you'd feel that you couldn't live without him, you'd dream of that day and can't wait...

There may be other factors that your considering ie) finances, his employment, his attitude to life, whether these things will also be favourable for you, or if he may not be able to support you or a family further down the track.

I don't know if this is the same guy we spoke about last time, that you would go and visit, but if it is, that may be a concern to you for future now and if it's not the same guy, I recall how much in love you were with him, so maybe your jumping backwards, to another past relationship and worried in the back of your mind that your not moving forward.

CW

**newhere808** · 02-07-2010 09:59 PM

Honestly, I dont think some level of doubt every really goes away, it is always a big risk moving forward with someone emotionally. I would say if your feeling for him and the way he makes you feel outweighs those doubts, then that is your sign, but you are wise to take baby steps.

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