Should I tell him Everything and how soon?

**rcoreyus** · 02-09-2010 03:37 AM

If he considers abortion a serious sin, then you probably need to get this settled before you get too attached. It is a common enough subject (wait for a mention in the news) that you can find out how he feels.

If it greatly affects the way you think of life, you should tell him so he can understand you better.

Otherwise, I don't think you ever need to tell him - it is your personal business, no one else needs to know.

FWIW: I personally think an abortion is a far better choice than an unwanted child.

**stressed** · 02-09-2010 06:13 AM

What troubles me is that you said you had this abortion 'recently' and you also 'recently' started to date this man. Does he know when you split up with your ex? I'm not sure if it's a good idea to keep it to yourself, more so because it happened recently. If it had happened in your past it would have been an experience that it would be up to you to decide when to reveal. However, having had an abortion recently and claiming to have found the man of your life so soon doesn't exactly add up.

I would want to know and I would have said so. The longer you don't say it the worse it will be for him when he finds out. Abortions can have side effects and besides he will find out by your gynecologist if and when you two have a baby (doctors tell these things to husbands in confidence). If you want to stop playing games and have a real and honest relationship, you have to tell him. Otherwise you'll be keeping a secret from him that he will definitely find out one day, whether you want to or not. I'm sorry.

**SweetP** · 02-10-2010 12:51 PM

We have only started to see eachother, the relationship is not exclusive yet. I am planning to share that with him when we are more exclusive, thats if it even goes there. The reason why its in my thoughts is because it just happened a month and half ago. Im still recovering. I was depressed and wasnt eating. Now my appetite is opening up but when we go to dinner I hardly eat. He questioned why and I just said that I was sick for 2 months and its until now that Im feeling better. I feel like Im lying to him. I am definitely taking it very slow with him, I dont want to jump into something I might not be ready for..

**LanaBear** · 02-10-2010 01:02 PM

It is something that may have an effect on you for a while. It's hard, mentally and physically. One thought, maybe until you've dealt with your feelings and emotions regarding it, you need to make sure this relationship doesn't go to the next level. I know you said you are taking it slow, but I think you may be vulnerable right now and just need to take the extra precautions.

If you need to talk to someone professionally regarding this, it may be a good idea, in order to have some closure.

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