confused
I have been dating a guy for 1yr then he said he wanted to live apart but we weren't breaking up he just needed some space. Two weeks after he moved out I went to his place and found another girl there. He says he loves me but his feelings have changed. I love him with all my heart. Now he told me today that for now we aren't geeting back together. That he doesn't want to be with anyone right now. Well I know he is probably with someone else. My question is how do I stop loving him and let him go? All I do is cry all the time.
tracie40 said " My question is how do I stop loving him and let him go? All I do is cry all the time. "
Danged if I know, dear. Time helps, so does getting out and meeting other people. I'm hav'n the same sort of thing receintly, so if you find a magic cure, pass it along.
P
Find a hobby and focus on it.
I'm going through a tough week and I've decided to a) buy an HDTV for my video game and b) learn to cook something amazing. It helps!
As p3375 said, there's no magic cure. First you have to recognize that alot of your pain is coming from the actual feeling of "rejection". Then there's the "what did I do wrong?" "why is she better than me?" feelings. For this, as with anything, there are stages of grief. Allow yourself to go through them and know there's no magic way to stop it. Rely heavily on your friends right now, get out, have some girl time.....do something for yourself (start going to the gym, or something you don't already do).
And whatever you do, GIVE him the space he says he needs. Don't text him, call him etc. And if he starts doing that to you, very nicely respond and say "While I enjoy hearing from you, it's important that you have space right now.....and its important that I have space too." And then don't respond after that. Give yourself time to heal.
It's always hard because your life changes yet again...
People come into our lives for a reason and not always do they stay.
You have to firstly look back at where you were before he entered and write down what you were happy about yourself, including things you did, and friends.
Then view if you gave any of those up and if so, get back on track with them.
Surround yourself with your friends as well, as you need them at this time.
Then look at what you would have done had you not have been in that relationship, where would you have been?
And, start aiming towards that.
There is always another man/woman to enter our lives, always...
Know what you didn't like from this one, to take with you on your next journey so that you can be even more smitten and happier next time as well.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
tracie, it's such an overused cliche that i hate that i am about to even say it but.. time heals all wounds. which now i want to throw up for saying it but really you just need some time. I had an ex that i dated for 4 years, planned to marry her. purchased a ring. Then one day she just said "i dont have feelings for you anymore". Such a confusing, hurtful time for me. I can't tell you how many times my dog sat and watched me cry on the couch. It hurt for a long time too. Psychologically it is essentially the same as mourning a death. You are mourning the death of a relationship that you cared a great deal about. You aren't just going to wake up one day this weeks and go "im all better now". Loosing a love is a deep cut. And just like with anyother physical wounds are bodies can get, that cut needs to time properly heal. Just like a cut on your arm. You have to let it heal, and the more you mess with it the more you will continue to leave that wound open and unable to heal. You are going to cry..and it's going to hurt and personally i dont think anyone can tell you for how long. It is dependant on you and your mourning process.
I will say this to you though:
When my relationship ended with that girlfriend. I thought the pain would litterally KILL me. And it was that way for quite a while. I didn't understand why it happened to me. I would dwell on the thought if "i used to have her and now i don't". I considered it the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. However, as i healed, i met a new woman. A woman who ended up being the most amazing woman i have ever met. Who rocks my world and makes me melt. One i am so in love with that i cringe at the idea of if i had still been with my ex and never met her... Now that same breakup that i thought would kill me, ended up being the best thing to ever happen to me in my life.
"I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul."- Victor Hugo
I think at this point, there is prob a million thoughts going through your mind. You keep remenising on the past. It's funny though, most the memories you think about is the good times. In these situations, we tend to do that, when we lose someone, we tend to forget about all the bad times, the arguments, instead think about the times 'we are so happpy togather' . At some point you may even blame yourself, consider asking yourself 'what did i do, for this to happen' . Or perhaps in the back of your mind, your thinking that he will come back to you regretting his actions, and you will somehow get back togather.Originally Posted by tracie40
Now what you HAVE to ask yourself is this;
DO YOU WANT TO STOP LOVING HIM?
It's not about what is right or wrong, or what you think you NEED to do, it's about what you WANT to do, if you dont WANT to stop loving him, then you CANT.
Write back to me, i would love to advice you some more
Take care
In a world that is doing it's best to make you some body else be nothing but yourself - Tabz Navad
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