cold feet

**yellowpiXi3** · 02-18-2010 09:14 PM

My bf and I have decided about a couple of weeks ago that we would like to take our relationship to the next step and move in. I am excited and scared at the same time. I like to have that space. The thing is that I stay at his place all the time. Why should I keep paying rent for a place I'm hardly at. Also, his place is too small for us being there ALL the time. I think it would not turn out well. I don't know what to do.

**LanaBear** · 02-18-2010 09:25 PM

HAHA - I opened it up thinking poor circulation, but I see that's not what you meant.

You can live with each other, but still have your space. You have to still do your own things and be your own person.

Does it make sense for you two to get a new place together, so it's not yours, not his, but the both of yours? If his place is too small, is your place a better option?

If you are constantly staying at his place now, what does your place offer, other than a safety net?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 02-19-2010 12:37 AM

HAHA - I opened it up thinking poor circulation

ROLMAO

Mam, it's the "next step" space is what you make of it, friends, family, time out, going out, and coming home to your man, it's called compromise

I can't remember aren't there two other guys there? He kicked one out?

Be excited and ensure you take time out for you including "bath time" candles, for you, and paint your nails

CW

**Mes T** · 02-19-2010 01:02 AM

If the place feels too small, what's the harm in waiting 'til you get a bigger one?

**asiangrace** · 02-20-2010 05:14 PM

My boyfriend and I live in a very small place and it can feel cramped sometimes. But we are 110% compatible. Better than ANY previous room mates I have had. The way that we compensate for the space is that we have our own day time/night time activities that give us the space we need but also more than adequate time together. Moving in with someone is always a risk so you just have to consider if the risk is worth it

Find some activities that you can do seperately if you find that you need space.

But you're right, there is no sense in paying for a place you are never at! But I do understand that security of having that space.

Possibly have an agreement before moving in that if it does feel cramped and not getting along, that jeopardizing your relationship isn't worth it so either of you are free to get your own place w/o breaking up/hard feelings.

Or something like that.

I am sure it'll be fine. Or as Mes_T said, too, if you are very worried about it, just wait until both of you can afford a bigger place together.

**yellowpiXi3** · 02-20-2010 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Mes_T

If the place feels too small, what's the harm in waiting 'til you get a bigger one?

There isn't one.. I just wanted to eliminate me paying rent at a place that I'm never at. Maybe I should at least spend some time there... lol.

**Mes T** · 02-20-2010 08:25 PM

My bf and I are pretty much in the same situation, have separate apartments but live in his.

But I still use my apartment for at least an hour or two each day to unwind, watch some show, pig out on some chocolate, shower (my bathroom's nicer than his)... I wouldn't be ready to give that up for a while yet.

I know you're paying for something that seems useless at the moment, but I feel like this is one of those things that you *might* REALLY miss once it's gone.