Thread: Open relationships

Originally Posted by sperosi

interesting question. and is it one or the other? must all people who can separate sex from emotion be all healthy or all unhealthy? couldnt it be either depending on the person?

that certainly is an interesting question, but ii tried to have a friend with benefits and it drifted into love fairly quickly, maybe in the case of a one night stand? maybe for sex workers, it is purely a business transaction?

Originally Posted by happy ending

that certainly is an interesting question, but ii tried to have a friend with benefits and it drifted into love fairly quickly, maybe in the case of a one night stand? maybe for sex workers, it is purely a business transaction?

well thats the way it is for you, and i am guessing for most people.

but the question is whether a person who can detach the act from the emotions is necessarily unhealthy or healthy emotionally.

I am not so sure there is a one answer. i know an awful lot of people who cant detach one from the other, and i'd be hard pressed to say they were necessarily healthy emotionally.

I wouldn't mind being in an open relationship if it worked like this. I date a guy and me and him are like any other normal loving relationship but he allows me to hook up with other men once in a while. I don't mean i'll be hooking up with a new guy like every week but like once a month i can hook up with a different man or just have one other man that i can have a mutual agreement with and hook up with him once in a while but it'll be just plain sex, not an emotional relationship like my main guy. I would not be accepting of the guy i'm dating/my main guy to hook up with any other girl though. The other men/man i hook up with can have who ever they want.

I could not do it...When I am with someone I stay true to that person and I expect that person to be the same...but here in my town I do know they have a key club...for people that dont know what that is..lol... they put keys in a hat or something and who ever key you pull out you go to that house and sleep with that person....they even go on trips together..lol...I have never done it and don't think I know everyone who does it...I also know that there is a high std risk in this town cause everyone sleeps with everyone...Even if I wasn't in a relationship I would not want to sleep around because of the risk of getting something these days is very high

I think I could do it, but I don't think my SO could. He admits he'd be jealous if someone else enjoyed my body, and that's ok by me. I'd rather have him protective of me and care about who I share intimacy with than him not care at all. Still, it would be nice to satisfy some curiosity... being bi-curious I would not mind taking a female home once or twice, just to see how things went! :P

I think that there needs to be a balance between emotions and sexuality. You can't necessarily sever sex from emotions or else the relationship isn't 'open', it's 'nonexistent'. Using people for sex on the side isn't a relationship, it's meaningless sexual exploration (or exploitation, depending on the people involved). At the same time if you're clinging to every guy you invite for a one-nighter, that's no good either. There needs to be a healthy respect for the people involved, and a solid understanding of each one's role in the relationship. I can see why most people stay away from it. Quite aside from any psychological need for us to pair off (or not), the confusion involved in sleeping around while trying to maintain a pair bond is probably really stressful!

I think it would be OK with me IF my sex life at home were already good. With a troubled sex life at home, an open relationship wouldn't work for me.

Some years ago, when my life was out of order so to speak, I contemplated the idea and talked about it with my gf of the time.
At first it seemed like a great idea ! I could not help myself to stay in that relationship...too many distractions, and not enough will She noticed all of that and asked if we would be happier if we went for the open relationship.

Now I know it's bad, very bad. Not only one endulges the carnal pleasures but you also lose the respect for yourself and your better-half by getting into this deal.

As someone said, you can't do make all the mistakes, you also got to learn from others

Just my 2 cents ...