bf doesn't have good hygenine

**sarahlee20** · 02-26-2010 01:35 PM

is showering every other day and asking to take showers and me asking him do this and that considered bad hygiene? it annoys me. I don't like to have sex when he's dirty. ICK

**sourpuss** · 02-26-2010 02:21 PM

I think you're beginning to realize that the two of you have a lot of differences, on a human level. Seriously, consider that maybe you're meant for something else. There are just a lot of things going on here.

**kira** · 02-26-2010 02:22 PM

Just taking a shower every other day? No that's not really that bad of hygiene unless someone is sweating a lot or getting very dirty doing an activity. Plenty of people have stopped washing their hair with any type of soap because they've come to find it is bad for it and it cleans itself better when not stripped of natural oils. Is that bad hygiene? No. It doesn't present any health risk and many comment their hair/head smells better and feels softer. It's just a different way of doing things and others might not feel clean unless they dump the strongest shampoo possible on to their head. In some places showers are considered not as cleaning as baths. In other places baths are considered dirtier than showers. In some places they actually do both by rinsing and soaking in various order. Daily showers, twice daily showers, 3 times daily showers, or several times weekly showers are really all a result of culture and lifestyle. My husband has actually commented he likes my smell when I've skipped a shower which I do in the winter fairly often cause I hate getting in the water when the room is cold. If I go do martial arts class or work with my horses and get covered in dust or smell like manure then I take a shower. If I just go to a college class and spend the day working on homework I'm probably not going to.

**sarahlee20** · 02-26-2010 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

I think you're beginning to realize that the two of you have a lot of differences, on a human level. Seriously, consider that maybe you're meant for something else. There are just a lot of things going on here.

ya we are too different

**LanaBear** · 02-26-2010 02:53 PM

I think you REALLY need to consider this relationship you are in. You are wanting him to be someone he evidently is not.

Go back and reread all the posts where you have talked about him and your relationship. If this was someone else, posting this information and you were reading it, what advice would you give them?

**sarahlee20** · 03-02-2010 07:20 AM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

I think you REALLY need to consider this relationship you are in. You are wanting him to be someone he evidently is not.

Go back and reread all the posts where you have talked about him and your relationship. If this was someone else, posting this information and you were reading it, what advice would you give them?

I would say as much as I hate to even type it and say it. MOVE ON. I feel I know that maybe I have to. I just would be so lonely. Trying not to let FEAR stop me from someone who could be really great.

I am still l struggling and still have feelings for him and want to be with him but it's just becomming SO difficult.

**sarahlee20** · 03-02-2010 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

I think you're beginning to realize that the two of you have a lot of differences, on a human level. Seriously, consider that maybe you're meant for something else. There are just a lot of things going on here.

Your Telling me....thats just on the surface....

**stressed** · 03-02-2010 07:23 AM

You won't be lonely, you will start a new life and find a man easy to live with. There are so many things you dislike about his personality and behaviour that it is obvious you're struggling to stay with him.
Engagement doesn't equal marriage, it is only the stage before marriage where you find whether you are compatible with each other or not. It is a 50-50 chance, not something certain. You loved, you tried, but in the end you found that you are very different. It happens, it's normal and it's not the end.

**stressed** · 03-02-2010 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by sarahlee20

is showering every other day and asking to take showers and me asking him do this and that considered bad hygiene? it annoys me. I don't like to have sex when he's dirty. ICK

And to answer to the initial question: Your man showering every other day should not annoy you, unless he has a job of the kind where he comes home sweaty and dirty and doesn't shower. If you cannot tolerate the smell is one thing, and you are not forced to be happy with it, but I wonder if it is that or just the idea of him not having showered that bothers you more. This is more serious as obviously you find more and more things that annoy you the better you get to know him that don't directly have to do with him but with your own views about him.

**WildChild** · 03-02-2010 07:37 AM

Different parts of the world have differing ideas about what is appropriate hygiene. Americans in general, I've heard, may out shower the rest of the world. But in other places using a bidet is common, while many Americans have no idea what one is.

To me flossing a brushing at least twice a day is important but because of allergies I don't use an antipresperant, just a deodorant. Someone else might never floss (yuck) but slather on the Secret a couple times a day. Except for extreme cases, it's what You are comfortable with that matters.