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Do you think it would help if you spend less time with him, maybe even stay away from him for a while?
crush on my husbands best friend!
this is about my husbands best friend who is now one of my good friends. well i have been hanging out with him more and more. he is a really great guy. the poor thing cant get a girlfriend though.
He asks me "what am i doing wrong" and i'm all like nothing. sometimes you have to learn to be yourself and be confident with that before the "right" girl will come along.
I feel so bad for him i wish that i could just scoop him up and take away all his problems.
the sad thing though is that i'm starting to get a crush on him. my hubby knows so its not like i feel guilty its that i dont want to have a crush on him i just want to be his friend. but he is really cute and so nice sometime i just want to shout out at all the girls "now here is a grerat guy" i know that once he finds that girl things will be different between us. but we hang out with out my hubby so i know we are good friends.
The thing that gets me most about him is that he is one of the only guys that treats me like a woman and knows me for me, besides my husband. he doesnt care about the whole apperance thing. well my apperence other girls yeah he's picky.
i want to get over it so bad but after being with him i feel so good and its nice to be appreciated.
i thought i would have been over this already but last night i went out with him i was the d&d so i didnt drink much but anys i was driving him home and i really wanted to lean over and kiss not because i wanted him "so badly" but just know what it feels like. i feel guilty about that though and i'll talk to hubby about it when i can but. i'm so worried these feeling arnt going to go away and I might do something with him. i've been know to "fall" into ppls laps when i am drunk. so i am worried about that.
can any help me?
Do you think it would help if you spend less time with him, maybe even stay away from him for a while?
i think it would but he is a really good friend and my only firend that i have that is a male.
i know i have issues with the men but i cant even have a friend without screwing up the friendship.
i talked to my hubby he's ok cause i am honnest and he trusts me. he thinks its because of all my past experences that has me confused.
When i am with him though i can be myself and i'm not worried about what i am saying. i never had that kind of a relationship with men before. all my friends that were male before turned into something more and the everything got messed up.
i was going to tell him how i feel and how i feel as a friend but i decided that i wont.
it's ok to a fantasy lover and that is what he is to me. i know i could never do anything to hurt my husband. so thats what i have come up with after sleeping on it. does it sound bad or valid?
Last edited by tinkerbell21; 03-05-2007 at 05:35 AM.
And if this was your best friend and your husband had a crush on her that was turning into more? Only you have the power to stop this or there is going to be some feelings that are hurt.
Do you think that maybe you just want him because you can't have him?
Do you spend the same kind of quality time with your husband? Does your husband make you feel appreciated, attractive, and womanly? It sounds like he respects and loves you and has complete faith in you.
A harmless small crush is not a big deal- something natural, like you said, such as fantasizing about something that you can't have.
But if you think you might drunkenly do something more with this man, even kiss him then you may be treading on thin ice.
As much as you enjoy the time you spend with him, you should be recieving those kinds of feelings from your husband and not just his best friend. Even if your husband is a busy man, make sure you have good conversations with him, make sure that you both are making the other feel wanted, appreciated, and loved for who you truly are.
Other than that, it may be a good idea to find some more female friends, learn to rely less on sensitivity from male friends, and let your husband know that you want to be feeling those things about him.
You can think whatever you want about his friend, have your fanatsies, but don't tempt yourself by spending so much time with this man and then particularly discussing how wonderful he is and how crazy it seems that he cannot find someone to date.
If you must spend time with him, maybe the majority if not all of the time you spend with him, should be with your husband present as well. if he is truly your husbands best friend, you and your husband have a good relationship, and you are obviously comfortable with this guy, then it should not be uncommon that the three of you talk about these things together, instead of the two of you.
Also, it wouldn't help if you all also spent your time out together(such as nights when a d.d. is required), with other mutual friends so that he can focus some of his relationship talk towards them, not just you.
One of the hallmarks of intelligence is to know the
consequences of one's action.
Stupid people proceed down the path of destruction,
as if there will be no consequences.
Intelligent people see the possible consequences and
try to avert them.
Very intelligent people remove themselves from the
possibility of consequences.
A friend of mine fell in love with her sister's husband.
Completely in love with him.
Although nothing had been said or done, the possibility
something might happen impelled her to move a thousand
miles away.
Had something 'happened' the destruction of the family
unit would have been permanent, and it was a situation
she did not desire to provoke.
tinkerbell21, the story ends with you in bed with this
friend. You know this will end your marriage, you will
be the person who can't be trusted, the talk of the town.
If you don't want that result, cut it off now.
I totally agree with Kaylar, Believe me i've been down that road before and believe me it was a bumpy road.
I used to have a friend a real good friend who had a boyfriend who wouldn't keep his eyes off me. I had a boyfriend at the time but that didn't bother him.
Me and my friend would go out most Fridays and often her b/f would come along or meet us in the club later. I would always get ready at her house as it was easiest. whenever I would come out from the shower I would use her room to get ready but I would find that her b/f would sometimes be in there. He would try, no would touch me in ways that another womens man should not touch another women.
I would curse him for it but he would tell me that I wanted it which I didn't. Whenever we were all out and I got male attention he hated it and would steer them away from me which pissed me off bc I didn't want them to think that I was with him. Eventough my friend was there she would just be in her own world world.
Anyway to cut along tale short. me and her boyfriend did sleep together one night in my drunken state, I felt so guilty and didn't know what to do. I told a friend who happened to tell someone that then went and told my friend I had sleept with her b/f. she asked me out right and I confessed. She never let me give my side of the tale though. and to make things worse her b/f was still harrasing me for more. My friend never forgave me and we don't see or talk to eachother anymore. I don't blame her. To be honest I was surpised she didn't beat me. She was the better women and I let myself and my friend down. I have learned from it though. As Kalar says there are always consequences to bad actions. I was drunk very drunk but I still aloud it to happen. I lost a friend over what I did So If I were you hun I would knock it on the head. I think you want him beccause you know that you can have him. He knows how you feel you don't need to tell him. he's waiting for you to fall. DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN
Last edited by luluyoung; 05-10-2007 at 05:28 AM.
Thread is over 3 years old.
Closed. Please stick to more current threads.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
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