Thread: plz help):

its difficult ive never felt this way for a guy....and i dont want to be treated badly im just scared hes lost all feeling for me though he said he hasnt im going through very tough times and i feel like i need him

and when i try to talk to him about it his answer is always i dont want to talk about this right now and then he'll leave me to go play 360 with the girls i dont like

Its understandable that you have never felt like this for a guy before. When I was in my late teens... my emotions ran so high on so little. The guys I dated were, jerks, a lot of times but in my mind -- even though they treated me bad, I could not IMAGINE my life without them.

I basically set myself up to get used A LOT. I wanted them to like me so much I slept with them even if I really didn't want to, I'd forgive them when they hit on my friends, when they'd ignore me, when they would lie to me about going out ... etc.

When you have the mindset that you can't lose a guy... it shows. It shows in your actions, what you put up with and how you react to things they do that hurt you. They are fully aware when you are feeling like that... and the wrong kind of guy will use it to his every advantage.

He hung out with girls you don't like, he lied to you saying he couldn't go anywhere when obviously could ... and your response was 'do you still like me?' the thing a guy like him is taking away from that is ... he can do whatever he wants and the worst thats gonna happen is its going to make YOU sad, and that obviously doesn't matter to him.

Think about you and how you feel about this guy, if you'd do things that hurt him, if you'd lie to him if you'd hang out with boys he doesn't like after telling him you couldn't go out. I imagine you couldn't see yourself doing anything that to him... why? Because you are into him.

If he felt the same, he would act the same. Are you willing to be with someone that doesn't really care about you simply because you care about them very very much? I'm not saying he doesn't care, but you have essentially said that whether or not he cares, no matter how bad he treats you, you aren't going anywhere.

Once you give someone that kind of power over you, over your happiness... it can make even the most kind hearted person do cruel things simply because there are no consequences for their actions.

A lot of guys would cheat on their gfs but don't want to risk losing her so they don't do it. If they know no matter what they do you're still going to be there, that there is no consequences... unless they are of very high moral fiber it makes them less likely to think about you and how things make you feel because essentially it doesn't matter to them if they know no matter how you feel, how hurt how sad how mad that you will never break up with them.

If I were you I'd give him some distance. Don't call him up and ask him to hang out. Find something else to do. Go hang out with your own friends for a while. Have a life outside of him. If he is really interested he will get in touch with you and try to see you. If he doesn't... you sort of have to start planning on moving on.

This is a time in your life when you should be having fun, being happy, not training yourself to be tied to guys that treat you badly.

thanks...i think i will go out and have some fun this weekend(: but the thing is when he dumped me before i didnt go to school the following day and he text me and was like why werent u at school and i said i couldnt it would hurt then he said he missed me and wanted me back because he missed me like crazy

And the minute he wanted you back... you were the right? I am not slamming you for acting that way... gosh knows I've been in your shoes. I could write the book for how you feel right now.

He dumped you, he said he missed you... he got you back. He knows he can treat you bad, lie to you hurt your feelings and you are not leaving him. He knows that if he wants to break up with you , and changes his mind later that you're always going to be an option. He doesn't see the value you in... not because its not there... but because YOU don't see the value in you.

You are obviously special enough for him to like and have as a gf. But you don't see that, and man is he ever taking advantage of the fact that you don't know just how awesome you are. If he thought for one minute that you knew, he would not treat you the way he does.

There are so many boys at your school that look at you and see a pretty girl. That would love text you and talk to you and hang out with you at the movies etc..that wouldn't ever dream of making you sad... but you pass up those guy friends that could make you have fun and feel pretty and interesting and instead be with a guy that makes you feel like second best to anything else.

But I know your heart is so taken by this guy... the problem is he also knows it is. Most guys would be so happy with a girl liking them so much and do everything they can to make her happy too. But not your guy. He is one of those selfish ones that when they find a girl as dedicated as you, they walk all over her.

Please do go have fun with your friends. We both know you are going to think about him and wonder what he's doing... but DON'T CALL him... don't text him. Let him get in touch with you for a change.

Once he see's that you aren't just going to sit at home holding your phone, exsisting only to be there for him.. he might just step up and treat you like he should. But if he doesn't you really outta let him go.

Why not be happy all the time, hangin with friends, shopping, dancing, playing games of your own, flirting , having fun and taking advantage of these years of youth that you wont get back. Instead of spending them like an abandoned housewife. Thats no fun and life is too short.

im actually a really happy person naturally im that girl at school who is friends with almost everyone..i fit in very well....and im going to do that i dont need to be treated like this and i want him to relize what he has now is good