Thread: need advice

Originally Posted by bccs421

I constantly want to tell him how i feel about him but i dont want to ruin what we have.

But what do you have? Besides the fact that he is using you for sex? Sure you can talk and relate in some ways,but in the long run,its a friends with benefits situation,wich will only end up hurting you,and his current girlfriend in the end.Sweetie,I understand you love him,so tell him. Don't hold it back and allow him to treat you that way.Ofcourse,you can't only blame him,you have given into the pleasure as well,but its because you miss him,you miss being with him.What do you have to lose? Honestly...nothing.You have more to gain from the experience,and more to learn from.These kinds of situations never end well.Someone always gets hurt.

In my opinion,I say tell him how you feel,and if you don't,break it off and move on.you can find a man who will give you that attention and much more.A man who will only becoming home to you,instead of going home to another woman.That has to be tearing you apart.Now I am not saying your the better person in this situation right now,but I am saying that you can become the better person by doing the right thing.Your love life has been put on hold for a man who is with another woman,this may sound mean(I don't mean to by any means) but move on,get over him,and kick him to the curb! Nothing good can become of continuing this whole thing,so stop while your ahead.If he loves you he will want to fight for you,he will want you for you,not sex or a fling.

Best of luck!
-Gigi

Is this the guy that has the aggressive sexual tendencies? If so I would be really concerned about being used as an outlet for him to do things his gf doesn't like. When a guy will cheat to be with you... it shows he does not respect relationships. If you want to have a fling with him, thats on you... but you have to prepare yourself for the fact that even if he leaves his gf and commits to you --- that his idea of commitment is... doing whatever he wants.

Gigi- I always get defensive when someone tries to tell me he is using me. In a sense i get he is but i always say if i didnt want it i wouldnt do it. He in no way pressures me to do anything i dont wanna do and it always seems like he waits for me to take the lead. I would love to tell him i love him and miss him and dont want him with her but you are right i need to kick him to the curb because honestly if he cheats on her what makes me think he wont do it to me if we would ever get back together.

And yes same guy he started that started that stuff before this girl came along. Its just a bad situation all together and i dont want anyone getting the wrong impression of me. I normally am not the type to be like i want my boyfriend back and ill screw him to get him. Thats totally not where i am going with this. He has told me before that he isnt married and doesnt want to be tied down and i will tell him to break up with her then. I feel guilty about what is going on between me and him but like i said there is that part of me that loves it as well.