Ex Boyfriend Issues...of course

**SomiticPit** · 03-09-2010 07:08 PM

So, all has just broke loose within my heart.

I've been seeing my ex, Nate, who is in jail. Everything has been going great there, I've totally fallen for him again, he's so sweet to me and we get along great. He has truly become my best friend. I'll go ahead and call him my boyfriend for confusions sake, although our relationship is more of a one-sided open relationship seeing as how he is in jail. lol

Then, my ex, Jake texts me today.

Uh oh. Jake is the one who completely broke my heart not too long ago. We broke up last year in March (It's been a year already? Really?) And our relationship was the rockiest one I've EVER HAD. We fought all the time, got into it physically once, jealousy ruled our world. You've heard about these kinds of relationships, we all have. I saw him every few weeks for 8 months after our break-up, we became each others late night booty-call. So, with that being said, it took me over 8 months to really get over him.

I haven't spoken to Jake in FOUR months. Not one word, deleted his number from my phone, quit talking to him altogether. I had to quit him cold turkey or my feelings for him seemed like they would never fade.

Then he texts me to ask me about a friend of mine who he saw in the paper. She had gotten into a wreck and he wanted to ask me how I was doing because of it.

Thats when my world flipped upside down for real.

don't know where I'm getting at with this, but I totally don't need him in my life but he's like a drug to me. any advice would help because right now im sort of lost. I know the answers. I know I shouldn't. But words of encouragement please anyone??

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-10-2010 07:58 AM

It is very much like an alcoholic or drug addict. At some point in their lives, they (hopefully) realize that in order to not ruin their lives they cannot drink, cannot do drugs AT ALL. That means not putting themselves around it, declining any offers for it, and all together removing it from their lives.

You can not respond, you can not answer calls, not answer texts, not answer emails and keep him out of your life. Or you can communicate with him and suddenly find yourself back in the horrible situation you were in before.

It's your choice. And just like being addicted to anything, you have to want things to be different before they will be.

**KMonte85** · 03-10-2010 08:24 AM

You said it yourself, you know you are better off without him in your life. You know you should not have anything to do with him.

Now you need to stick to your guns, have the conviction to do what is right for YOU! This guy is like a drug for you, as you've said.. so kick the habit! It's tough, and temptation will rear its ugly head periodically, but you have to fight it to stay happy and healthy.

Don't respond to him, don't let him back in, or you will just end up hurt again, back at square one.

**Joy** · 03-10-2010 01:05 PM

Your instincts have already told you - you intuition has already told you - you don't need this guy in your life - together you are unbalance, violent, and chaotic. You both may be the great people but together you suck. Some couples are like that. Don't answer this guy - some times our past will test us and see if we want it back or if we are ready to move forward into an amazing future. good luck stay strong

**kygirl** · 03-11-2010 09:11 AM

I agree with everyone else. I know it's hard, but I wouldn't respond. You've been down this road already...

**SomiticPit** · 03-20-2010 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by Joy

some times our past will test us and see if we want it back or if we are ready to move forward into an amazing future. good luck stay strong

I like how you said that...it sort of lined up things for me. Thanks everybody for the encouragement. I know I'm smart and I know he's no good. It's just that I need to hear it again sometimes lol.