help... regret ending it on the spot

**emily100** · 03-10-2010 08:57 AM

we have been together about 2.5 months. Bf has been wanting increased togetherness and contact. he had been calling me every day, several times a day and talking about things we'll do in the spring and summer, etc. always telling me he loves me.

then bam! I found him online at a dating site while I was shutting down my profile. I asked him why. he said that he relealized that I would never convert to his religion and now knows that he wants to marry a woman of his faith.

Well, I said if this relationship is limited I am ending it on the spot, this moment. Now I regret not talking it through in person. I've called him yesterday and left a message. he hasn't called back, I just sent him an email to please call. nothing yet.

why isn't he returning my call???? what do you think is going on here???

it went from everything to nothing in two minutes. maybe there's another woman already...

**KMonte85** · 03-10-2010 09:05 AM

I think for you it went from everything to nothing in two minutes. For him, he's been done for a while, hence the dating site, hence the harsh, but honest "you aren't willing to convert and I plan to marry a woman of my own faith." He's been done for a while, so he isn't concerned about returning your calls.

He intentionally created a profile on a dating site to find women, while stringing you along. You ended it, as you should have. He was dishonest with you, and he didn't even have the respect for you to tell you his concerns before going out and trying to find someone to replace you.

What is it that you want from having a conversation with him in person? What benefit will that bring you?

**emily100** · 03-10-2010 09:20 AM

actually, it is the same dating site that I met him on and he is still using the identical profile that he had when we met.

**WildChild** · 03-10-2010 09:23 AM

He's looking for something that you aren't. The fact that he was so very affectionate and pushing things forward in such a short time span seems like he looking to plug someone into a mold he has all ready for them. Do you really want that?
It's a learning experience. Move on.

**emily100** · 03-10-2010 09:29 AM

I would like to have some closure

**KMonte85** · 03-10-2010 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by emily100

actually, it is the same dating site that I met him on and he is still using the identical profile that he had when we met.

Would that change the situation? New or old profile, he's got it open because he's looking for something else.

Don't waste your time with worrying about him anymore. He's made it clear that you don't fit his ideal and he's looking elsewhere... you deserve much more than that! You need someone who is going to love and appreciate you for everything you ARE

**emily100** · 03-10-2010 09:42 AM

thank you, KMonte

**HauteMess** · 03-10-2010 09:44 AM

I always do this. I get furious over something my bf does ... then later I have the humiliating task of apologising - though he never rubs it in, he really is very lovely

but in my case it's usually something stupid and I'm overreacting!

I think you had good reason to get mad and end it. Maybe what youre feeling is the shock of being single. We all want to stay in our comfort zone, even if it means 'making do'.

After 2.5 months do you see yourself with this man forever? It sounds like, if you were to switch to his religion, then the decision of marriage is made & I dont think youve been together long enough at all for that!

I also dont understand why, if he knew about you religious differences at the beginning, he even got involved with you?

From what I can see, you made the right decision!

**WildChild** · 03-10-2010 09:59 AM

Depending on what religion you are talking about, that can involve a whole lot of things you haven't even begun to consider.

**Joy** · 03-10-2010 01:11 PM

I don't know what his faith is but - sounds like he made that choice to move on - I think its only been 2.5 months - you can find another bf that is honest to you and isn't a player. Saying one thing but meaning the complete opposite. The closure is - your lucky you found out now instead of a year from now and had invested a lot of time and energy into a relationship that was doomed to end right from the beginning.