Should I trick him into having a baby?

**RDDS** · 03-19-2010 03:19 PM

I don't want to commit to him, but I want a baby. He don't want a baby until we are married. His words: "I don't want my child to be a , we must be married before we have a baby."
I tried not to trick him and be honest with him, but I want a baby.
Should I trick him into having a baby and act like it just happen?

**LanaBear** · 03-19-2010 03:22 PM

IMO, you should NEVER trick anybody into getting you pregnant. It's dishonest and disrespectful.

**WildChild** · 03-19-2010 03:26 PM

Really, really, really BAD idea.

**TWills32** · 03-19-2010 03:55 PM

No, no, no. Tricking someone into having a baby with you is not right at all. It's selfish to do that to someone, only because you want a baby. You need to take your partner's feelings into consideration. Bringing a baby into the world through deceit is not right. You need to talk to your partner and work it all out.

Why would you want to have a baby with someone you didn't want to commit to? It's ideal for a child to have both parents present. Not saying anything wrong with being a single mom/dad, because things happen, but purposely having a baby with someone you don't even really want to be with isn't fair to the child.

**Mes T** · 03-19-2010 04:09 PM

I agree with the others, this is a terrible idea and unfair to everyone involved, especially your future child.

**RDDS** · 03-19-2010 04:18 PM

Don't take me wrong, I do love him. I don't want to be married again. I have a fail marriage after 16 years. The death of my younger child cause our marriage to fall apart. My point is I don't want to commit to a marriage to fail again. And, yes I do want a baby with him, but he wants marriage.
Is it marriage that important. Two people leaving together have to be married to have a baby?

**LanaBear** · 03-19-2010 04:35 PM

Marriage is important to some, but not others. Some don't need a white piece of paper, some do. I am in favor of marriage, but mine is rock solid. My mom has been with the same man for 14 years (after being married the the butthead of a man my father was for 15 years) and they will never get married and their relationship is rock solid. It depends on the couple.

However, tricking a man into having a baby is wrong, marriage or not.

**Jingleboots** · 03-19-2010 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by RDDS

I don't want to commit to him, but I want a baby. He don't want a baby until we are married. His words: "I don't want my child to be a , we must be married before we have a baby."
I tried not to trick him and be honest with him, but I want a baby.
Should I trick him into having a baby and act like it just happen?

I'm not sure how old you are, but surely you can use a dictionary to look up the word "trick" ??? You will undoubtedly see the word "deceive" in there somewhere, and that's exactly what you will be doing to YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD if you so choose to "trick" your boyfriend and become pregnant! You don't want to "commit" to a man, but you think you're ready for the commitment of a child to raise? You need to (edit) be responsible, and be honest to yourself about a few things. (edit) and a child is the LAST thing you need. NEVER trick anyone for anything!!! (edit)

**RDDS** · 03-19-2010 05:46 PM

I guess because English is my second language I do make spelling mistakes.
Sorry. Back to the thread, I have to say that I will take in consideration all the responses and I will think more about it.
Thank you to all of you who responded.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-19-2010 05:52 PM

RDDS.

Your assuming that love concquers all.. That because he loves you if you were pregnant, he'd accept it and everything will be fine, he may even marry you.

Never Assume.

If he feels tricked, he may very well do the exact opposite.

Then you will have no man, no love, and a baby on your own.....

Real Love means, that you work together, you compromise, what you have to do is work out that compromise, together.

CW