Prenup??

**happy ending** · 03-23-2010 09:28 PM

hi my man and i have been seeing each other for 2.5 years, we have had a few dramas because we have both been hurt before but now seem to have realised what we have, we cant spend a lot of time together, but what we do have is lovely. my man is part of a family trust has asked me if i would sign like a prenup (but we arent getting married or anything), and i am happy to. i am just not sure what to expect.

Please dont anyone say, he is mean for wanting me to do that, his first wife left him with the children and tried to take him for everything else, i am content to do it, if it makes him feel secure, and we dont have children together or anything but is there anything i should be wary of?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-23-2010 10:02 PM

Mine asked me too as well

But, then he changed his mind......

Have a lawyer look it over when you get it, they will also explain the entire contents to you.

What you will be looking for is, what is your is yours and what is his is his. If you buy something together, then that should be in there as 50/50 owned as per the Contract, and there, you have to ascertain if you want it to be tenants in common or not, do not make it 49/51.. see a conveyancer or the lawyer in that regard as well...

How exciting

**happy ending** · 03-24-2010 05:30 AM

thanks CW he is buying a house, so we will have one each, also he has some sort of family trust in his home country, i guess his family are concerned if i move back with him. since we had a big arguement last december i think we have just realised that we are miserable without each other and whatever problems we have, we have sorted out. of course they were all HIS fault LOL!!!

**kygirl** · 03-24-2010 06:54 AM

I don't think it's a big deal (of course I'm in law school and also am well aware of divorce rates...esp in my field) I think as long as you have an attorney review it to make sure it is fair, then that is fine. I'm not trying to take someone's stuff (unless they have some indiscretions I find out about, then you better believe I'll have a clause in there for that.)

Hopefully you wont' ever have to use it but really it protects *both* parties because you never know who will have what in a few years.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 03-24-2010 11:39 AM

I don't see a problem with prenups. I think they can be taken too far, but that's another story. I know it sucks to start a marriage with the idea that it could end, but as kygirl said, we're all aware of the ever rampant divorce rates and well, it's just reality.

The others have given you good advice. Never sign a prenup without first consulting with a lawyer about it. If you're going to sign something protecting him, there should also be some protection for you in there as well. That's where a good lawyer will help you out alot and give you advice on what the prenup should and should not say.

Speaking of prenups and such, I think people should be required to pass a lie detector test before getting a marriage license. :0) haha

**WildChild** · 03-24-2010 11:44 AM

Prenup ie not a bad idea at all but do have your own attorney look it over. I don't understand though why you would need one if you aren't married, have separate houses and no children together?

**p3375** · 03-24-2010 02:26 PM

ok ok after this I'll shut up about this... promise!

From the perspective of a kid (me) wishing to preserve an estate of a parent, I can say pre-nups are just about worthless.

Why? Cause the signer can always give gifts of property, money, possessions etc to the spouse while he/she is still living. A pre-nup only protects the estate from the surviving spouse contesting a will after the death of the spouse witht he $.

In my specific case, dear ol dad drew up a pre-nup to protect his (fairly large) estate and assure his kids got something after he died. BUT before he died his wife (33 years younger in age -grrrr!) convinced him to put her name on almost all the investments and bank accounts, as well as real estate holdings. When he died, all the kids received was some furniture and nicknacks. No, I'm not pizzed, not at all!

Guess the lesson for me is - it was his money to give away and I shouldn't expect anything anyway. I keep sayn that to me, over an over... maybe one day I'll believe it ..

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-24-2010 02:50 PM

Here in Australia, WC it's different.

If you live with someone, I believe on the 5th year, of living with them, your classed as husband and wife as far as assets are concerned " Defacto"..

Happy I'm so "happy

" that you two worked all this out, it was a tough road for both of you but you obviously love each other and you've obviously made him see that he doesn't have to fear of what happened to him before

Congrats.... Now, seeing as you'll both own a house and your not selling yours, make sure you live in the same one, which ever one that is, haha. xx

CW

**happy ending** · 03-24-2010 08:34 PM

well we arent getting married, we have discussed it, but i just dont see the point. but as CW said if you live together, you do have financial rights, when i buy my new house we will live in that, he is buying a beach house so we will have a holiday place. we can rent it out sometimes for holiday makers and extra revenue, and he will go stay there when he needs his "cave". as he has been on his own for years and i have other responsibilities too, we think this would be the best way. thanks CW it has been a tough road, but some things are too good to walk away from. yes i will get my solicitor to look over it, and protect my assets too, i think it is mainly for the peace of mind of him and his family.

**WildChild** · 03-24-2010 09:02 PM

Here we have what is called common law marriage - sounds somewhat similar. Only a few states have it, mine is one. In my state if you live together for 3 months and tell people you are married, you have a common law marriage. In theory you have to get divorced to end it but in reality most people just go their separate ways unless one makes a fuss. Other states that have this have different requirements.

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