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Thread: He Said He Don't Trust Me Anymore ..

  1. #1
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Fatin's Avatar
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    Unhappy He Said He Don't Trust Me Anymore ..

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    Well like befor a month ago we agreed we wont watch porn movies anymore so when i traveled i had this huge thirst for it so i watched it .. well he knows that i am addicted to sex so then when i told him that i did that he said nothing but "I won't trust u anymore" and tomorrow i spouse to go back to my home town and he spouse to come pick me up from the airport so i got really upset and told that if don't want to come pick me its fine and he didnt say anything .. is that fair?
    "Nothing is impossible, if your heart is willing" ☺ ..

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Fatin's Avatar
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    and if he wont trust me .. will he be able to love me??
    "Nothing is impossible, if your heart is willing" ☺ ..

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    You really can't have a relationship without trust. If you think about it, you wouldn't want to be with someone who feels that way.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  4. #4
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array ocularone's Avatar
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    Well let me address your second question first...IMO, there obviously cannot be love without trust.

    Now..is it fair that he is upset you both made a promise not to view porn and you ended up doing it? Absolutely... Is it fair he says he can't trust you? Pretty much...
    That's just the natural course for when you make a promise to someone and that promise is broken. However, this doesn't mean he can NEVER trust you again. Trust is a tricky creature. There is no mathematical formula or solution for solving the problem of broken trust.. Forgive this really lame analogy but it's the best way i can describe it- Lets pretend trust is like a savings account you have at the bank. Just like any bank account, there are DEPOSITS and there are WITHDRAWALS. With our savings account, we slowly make deposit after deposit..building up the number in our account. We try to not make any withdrawals..So over time, the balance grows and grows. But, sometimes something happens..A mistake is made, poor choices happen...and the account takes a hit..sometimes even DEPLETED. Now you are left with little to no balance in your "account"..So what happens now? The slow process of making small deposits starts over again...

    Do you see what i am (probably failing at) trying to show you? You spend a long time making deposits into the trust in your relationship with people...trust isnt something that just HAPPENS..it's EARNED over time..then when you make a mistake..that trust takes a hit. After that, you have to take the time required to REBUILD that trust. Dear God, i have made no sense i'm pretty sure.

    Fatin, accept his hurt and disapointment in you...it's deserved. Try and move past it, and make it a point to do better. He may not be able to trust you (in that area) right this second so you have to make sure you stay trustworthy. Continue to rebuild that trust with him.. Just try your best not to make anymore withdrawals
    "I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul."- Victor Hugo

  5. #5
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    I think it is a mistake to make promises that are difficult to keep. If you break a promise, he has a right to be upset, but why did you make that promise?

    People do make mistakes and their partner should be ready to forgive. Would you forgive him a similar mistake?

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