Thread: Lying friend

Time to cut ties. If you're that different and she's that selfish then quickly growing apart will be pretty easy.
Don't answer the phone when she calls, don't be available when she wants to go out, etc.
Eventually you won't be of any use to her and she'll find someone else to use as an excuse to do what she wants.

You'll be 100x times better off without her in your life, she sounds awful.

I was friends with a woman for several years like this. 15years to be exact. I always bended to her will and she would make it seem like she was interested in my ideas once and a while. She got divorced after six months of marriage because he was in the army and she didn't want to be an army wife. Thing was is he was in the army when she met him. She would go on about the excitement of being an army wife. I was there to help her through her tears (real or fake). She dated several men and all failed in relationships. She would call me and we would go out (always where ever she wanted to go). We were both single but if a guy found me attractive and not her she would say that he was a loser and push towards some random guy that would end up dating her because he liked her better. Later I would find out she knew this and was using me to find out how he felt. Our relationship took an drastic turn when I started planning my wedding. 3 months before my wedding she announced her engagement to a man who was eight years younger than she was. We would talk on the phone about her wedding date which was one month before mine. She made me her maid of honor, took the colors of my wedding for her own, had the nerve to ask if her flower girl could wear my daughters (our flower girl) dress for her wedding-because it would save her money, and told me that I would have to buy the MOH dress myself. I told her I couldn't afford it and that she was not required to buy hers for mine so I would expect not to have to buy mine for hers. She said that she couldn't afford a dress because she had to buy a wedding dress. I also had to buy a wedding dress (my Mom bought one that ended up not being ready before the wedding so I had to buy another one....sore spot with me). Then one month before my wedding and two weeks before hers I was hospitalized and had to have heart surgery. I called her and told her that I felt she should find a back up MOH in case I would not be able to be there. She called me a liar. Told me I didn't have to lie to her if I didn't want to be there for her. The conversation made me very upset. I was in the hospital having a major surgery and needed a friend. I had a fiance and a daughter at home and I was scared I would never see them again. She then called me back saying that she talked to her Mother and when she asked if I had ever lied to her before she realized I was telling the truth, but to be on the safe side she called the hospital to check if I was there. She called me back saying she was sorry. She talked about her wedding and everything was about her. I was out of the hospital the next week. Four days before her wedding. My daughter had pneumonia and I was in great pain. She called two days before her wedding to ask if I was on my way to her house. I told her about my daughter being sick and that I couldn't make it. She was angry...I was sad. I knew then I had lost a long time friend. I realized it was a hard loss to get over, but in the long run I was happier. I realized that bending to her life didn't allow me to live my own. She called once and said it hurt her that I was so mean, and unfeeling as to not even make the effort to come to her wedding. I wasn't invited to the first wedding, I was a convenience and was tired of being at her beck and call. I wanted my own life and that killed her. If she couldn't be happy for me with me, than I would be happy with out her. If a man ever treated me that way I would have dumped him, why was she so different? Yes I am sad at my loss but all wounds heal over time.

I hope this helps you realize that you are just as important in your relationship. If she can't see that you may be better off without her. As for the lying and cheating it is her mistakes to make. If you want to keep her as a friend than you have to ignore those. I had a professor of psych tell me to tell my friend, when she talked about something I didn't want to hear or talk about, that I was tired of hearing it and didn't want to hear it anymore. If she stays your friend she is a friend worth keeping. If she stops being a friend then all you really lost was time.

thank you for the replies! I know...everyone is telling me to stay away from her, but I don't have too many other friends, I guess that's why I've always let her get her way. she now has a new friend that lives close to the BF, so she makes that woman go out with her, and lie for her. I haven't been talking to her as much, so I think she knows something is up. She even said something to me one time like...who would you go out with if it wasn't for me.
I am so ready to tell her husband and BF.

One time, on her facebook, she made a comment that she had been cleaning all day long, washing clothes, etc. (she never cleans), so I commented on her status..I wrote." you forgot to add that you've been texting all your hot male friends all day too!..I said it as a joke and also because it is true. So supposedly after I wrote that, her BF changed his relationship status on facebook to "single". It had been "in a relationship"..with her...even though she is married! So she sent me a message that said "if my BF changed his status to "single" because of your comment, I will never talk to you again". That was my turning point.... Her facebook says "in a relationship" because of the BF and she wont add any people as friends that know her husband so they can't see what she is doing.

The big thing for me is the "she can dish it out , but can't take it." If you do anything against her, she will never let you live it down, but in no way can you ever do it to her!
We do have fun when we go out and can get into a lot of trouble, but I can't stand that lying.