The worst feeling in the world for a guy

**Anon_1990** · 04-01-2010 02:32 AM

When the girl you loved so much splits up with you and gets with someone else three weeks later.

I hate it so much. That girl is under my skin, I love the air she breathes, and she is so happy in her new relationship, I hate the feelings I'm getting, if I could wish for one thing in the world it would be for her new relationship to fail. The guy looks like a creep, shes 16 and hes 25 (im 19), She is so happy and in love and its driving me insane. I want her so bad, but he is there. I'm despising a guy who I don't even know, and I love everyone, but god i wanna kill the bloke.

I blocked her on facebook, but can still see statuses and force myself to look at them. I cant stop crying over her, she is all I want and shes gone. She said she just wants to be freinds, but ive had to delete her of msn too because I need to clear my head.

I am freinds with all her freinds, so her name and his name are popping up everywhere. Its driving me insane, people are trying to help me but its almost falling on deaf ears. I need that girl, and seeing "I love James with all my heart" plastered everywhere fills me with disgust, rage and sickness. Its like pain ravaging my whole body, first theres love which you feel all over, now its pain, hate and hurt just poising me day by day.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 04-01-2010 06:00 AM

16 and 25? Hmmm. To me that's a bit creepy all in itself. Yeah, he's older, he's courting her, she's swooning over him.....but the relationship is new right? Girls that age love older guys (alot of them do anyway) because they think they're more mature. But in reality, for a 25 year old to even consider dating a 16 year old...well, he must not be all that mature.

Hurting is normal. I know it hurts. You feel rejected. You feel like she chose him, and that hurts horribly. This too shall pass... just be careful that when things fall through for him and her (and they will), that you are not her fall back. Do you really want to be second choice? Just be careful and remember this will pass......it will.

**caterpillar79** · 04-01-2010 06:07 AM

Be patient with yourself.

Love yourself and spend more time exploring your interests and hobbies even if it doesn't feel right at this time. If you can, go out and do some outdoor activities, i.e. water sports, or visit a nearby state/city, see some new stuff, etc - bottomline is, while you're grieving, take the time to get out there.

Workout and do some kick boxing or martial arts and unleash all your anger through these activities. Just let yourself experience your emotions and watch them go by...this, too shall pass.

**rcoreyus** · 04-01-2010 07:49 AM

You will get over it, but I know how miserable it is at the moment. You will find someone else - really. It is actually good to have had a few relationships in your life, it gives you a better understanding of what matters to you

16 and 25 is rather disturbing - doesn't reflect well on either of them.

**Anon_1990** · 04-01-2010 08:18 AM

She promised me it wasnt because she chose him, she just moved on. It still rips me apart inside though

**luvtheoneurwith** · 04-01-2010 08:52 AM

At 16 I loved three guys at once. I was in love with my very first Boyfriend who left me for an older woman. I vowed to hate her, yet when we got to know each other we found we liked each other. My heart was breaking and all I wanted to do is break her, however if I wanted to be around him I would have to move on and be friends with him and her. I tried and as all our friends excepted her I was forced to hang with them if I wanted to be with friends. He was my first love and I felt that no other guy would do. I later fell in love with one of her older guy friends, and obsessed over him hung around to hang on him, even tried to kiss him. This guy was her age (22) he told me that it was too big of an age difference for him and thought it would be better if I went after someone my own age. That hurt but it is what guys that age should say to someone my age. I respect him so much for that. I kept on hoping that he'd change his mind but he never did. I went to my uncles wedding that year and feel in love with his Bestman. soon I forgot the first love...not too much but enough that he was now just a friend. I forgot the other guy and until I was 18 I love this guy friend of my uncles. Finally I was of age and we dated, boy that was horrible. He was not who I really wanted. I heard my first love was mending a broken heart as the older woman told him that they were too different. she said it was fun while she was going to college but when it came to starting a life he was just not there. When he needed a friend I was there, but that was all that was there.

The hurt will go away or at least fade to tolerable. You love her so support her. She will need a friend. You are young, and while it may be cliche to say, you have your whole life ahead of you. I hope you know where you want too be, but no one knows where they will be in ten years. This is the first time I thought of those three since I was 22, and saw my first love walking down the street.

**Anon_1990** · 04-01-2010 09:01 AM

Well ive had to block her out, i cant deal with seeing her right now. But that is a lot of loves! I hope she comes around, I really, really do. She is an amazing girl

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-01-2010 10:32 AM

I think you should truly consider avoiding the online stuff a while. By that I mean ... don't log on to facebook/ my space... anywhere that you have to be reminded of her new relationship. With the way you feel right now it isn't healthy.

Prior to facebook etc... when someone broke up they wouldn't have to read those stinging words and could heal without the constant reopening of the wound.

Please just avoid those places until you get your head in a better place. How she could go from loving you to being so in love with another guy in 3 weeks is a red flag of how little she probably even understands what love is.

Do not let rage fill in your heart to this man, or to her. Its not worth it. Leave the networking communities alone for a while and focus on you and your needs. Go to the gym, play some sports, hang out with buddies and family and remember that life is good and fun and there is a whole lot of happiness to be had if you allow yourself to feel it.

**kygirl** · 04-01-2010 11:36 AM

I think it is a little creepy for a 25 year old to be with a 16 year old...Are her parents okay with that?? Idk but in my experience there is VERY little reason for a 25 year old to be with a 16 year old...maybe if you were talking 25 and 34 but 9 years as a teenager is HUGE...

Hang in there

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-01-2010 11:44 AM

A 25 year old has typically graduated high school, spent 4 years at a university and has already 3 years experience in the work force. Has been able to drink legally for several years and has been a full fledged adult for a very long time.

What he would would have in common with a high school sophmore/jr 16 year old girl is minimal as far as life experience goes.

A guy that age that wants to date a minor generally has some confidence issues about being with women and possibly feel a little more safe dating someone that flatters their ego.

The odds are against that sort of relationship having much staying power as she will eventually mature and surpass him developmentally.

But thats really neither here nor there, if she broke up with you, you'd be sad even if she was single. You'd be sad if you was dating a boy her own age. This creepy guy is pretty much an insignificant detail to the whole thing.

Whatever magic you found in this ex girlfriend can be found in so many other girls. I know that when you are in love you think that the object of your affection is irreplacable ... but they are. And in fact, believe it or not.. in a few years you'll question whether or not the feelings you had for her were real love at all.

When you are in the thick of it, heartache feels insurmountable... but I PROMISE you that 'time heals all wounds' is not just a cliche or something people say to make you feel better. Its a fact of life. Your hurt and feelings for her will truly fade and you will move on with your life.