Is it worth it?

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 12:28 PM

well me and my man been together for 3 years and everything good bout this man out weighs the bad no dout. but with in the 3 years he has kinda cheated and hurt me, the first time it was someone he worked with and it was all talk one kiss and txten (i know for a fact cuz i am smart lol) the second time was catching him on date sites, the 3erd time was txten and dirty pics back and foward, and same for the last 2 times, after the last time he did it i told him i couldn do it no omore and he begged for me to stay and that he would not do it no more, he also said that that was as far as it got and he didn have th guts to go farther, mind you we both had to grow up earlie due to the kids, but the way i kept seeing it was that he was searching for that giddy feeling you get in the begining of a relationship cuz he is young and all ( he is 21 i am 20) i dunno i love him so much he is a great provider, father, lover, and friend, its just thoes things i am not sure about. like is it going to happen again or go farther is it worth stayen and working it out??

**LanaBear** · 04-08-2010 12:52 PM

Based on your other post, hun, it sounds like there are definitely some other issues besides the porn, right?

Am I reading this right? 5 times? You've caught him doing things that a man in a committed relationship shouldn't be doing...

How have things been since the time you put your foot down and said no more, resulting in him begging for your forgiveness?

That giddy feeling doesn't have to go away in your relationship. Heck, I've been with my hubby for 15 years (will be married 12 this year) and I'm still giddy with him.

What about counseling? There is a lack of trust there, on your part, for very obvious reasons.

**Hopeless Dork** · 04-08-2010 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

That giddy feeling doesn't have to go away in your relationship. Heck, I've been with my hubby for 15 years (will be married 12 this year) and I'm still giddy with him.

Thats so true. I've been with my guy a couple of years and I still get butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me in certain ways. I still blush when he compliments me. We still can't keep our hands off of each other and never make it through a movie without a full blown make out session in the middle :P

I think it has to do with your man's age than anything else. I know guys CAN be mature and faithful at 21... but there is a whole heap of growing up that happens from 16-18, from 18-21, from 21-25 and from 25-30.

Thats not to say there is no hope. Look at all the high school sweethearts celebrating 50th wedding anniverserys, etc. Just because love happens when young doesn't mean it can't last. It just means there could be more bumps on the road as you are not only growing in the relationship... you guys, individually are doing some growing up too.

When I was 21 I thought I knew what I wanted for my whole life. Now in my early 30's I barely remember the girl I was at 21, she was so very different than who I am today.

I hope the two of you can work it out , but he has to want to work it out and you have to know your worth. You have such a long happy life ahead of you full experiences and learning and excitement and satisfaction in many things... don't sell yourself short for a guy that can't appreciate you for everything you are.

Life is too short. Life is also LONG....... to spend it with someone that makes you feel bad.

**LanaBear** · 04-08-2010 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Thats not to say there is no hope. Look at all the high school sweethearts celebrating 50th wedding anniverserys, etc. Just because love happens when young doesn't mean it can't last. It just means there could be more bumps on the road as you are not only growing in the relationship... you guys, individually are doing some growing up too.

Very very true. At least with us. It definitely wasn't always smooth sailing. We've had our bumps and then some, now we are at a point where we are both so in love and content with each other. But like you say, we just started early and got it over with early. lol (17 for us)

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by LanaBear

Based on your other post, hun, it sounds like there are definitely some other issues besides the porn, right?

Am I reading this right? 5 times? You've caught him doing things that a man in a committed relationship shouldn't be doing...

How have things been since the time you put your foot down and said no more, resulting in him begging for your forgiveness?

That giddy feeling doesn't have to go away in your relationship. Heck, I've been with my hubby for 15 years (will be married 12 this year) and I'm still giddy with him.

What about counseling? There is a lack of trust there, on your part, for very obvious reasons.

**Porn is not an issue its more of wanting to understand why really, the giddy part from my side is still there all the time but that was the only thing i couldthink of why he did it, since the last time he has been awsome things seem to be going back to normal, when i asked a friend what to do she asked me one question " does the good out weigh the bad" and the answer is a deff YES! yes there is trust issues but when i ask bout random numbers or anything to make me concerned he is always cleared of getten in trouble everything has been the truth.

**Angelbabies** · 04-08-2010 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Thats so true. I've been with my guy a couple of years and I still get butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me in certain ways. I still blush when he compliments me. We still can't keep our hands off of each other and never make it through a movie without a full blown make out session in the middle :P

I think it has to do with your man's age than anything else. I know guys CAN be mature and faithful at 21... but there is a whole heap of growing up that happens from 16-18, from 18-21, from 21-25 and from 25-30.

Thats not to say there is no hope. Look at all the high school sweethearts celebrating 50th wedding anniverserys, etc. Just because love happens when young doesn't mean it can't last. It just means there could be more bumps on the road as you are not only growing in the relationship... you guys, individually are doing some growing up too.

When I was 21 I thought I knew what I wanted for my whole life. Now in my early 30's I barely remember the girl I was at 21, she was so very different than who I am today.

I hope the two of you can work it out , but he has to want to work it out and you have to know your worth. You have such a long happy life ahead of you full experiences and learning and excitement and satisfaction in many things... don't sell yourself short for a guy that can't appreciate you for everything you are.

Life is too short. Life is also LONG....... to spend it with someone that makes you feel bad.

** i know he lovs me he is one of thoes guys that is not scared to tell you when there is no connection and its time to leave, i thought it was young and dumb stage due to the fact he is a pretty boy that alot want and he knows it, he is a man with a strong ego, i want to work it for the kids and for happiness, cuz everyone around him has told me the same thing "since i came into the picture he has changed for the better" and i been in my fair share of relationships and when i layed eyes on him he took my breath away,