- couples. not for me?

**puppini** · 04-25-2010 08:40 AM

My friends, for the most part, are in a couple for years now. The others are trying very hard to find their "one". I.. have always been alone (more or less, none of my relationships lasted longer than 2months.. and it was really because i forced myself).

Since i have a lot of opportunities, my friends (and myself) don't understand why i am not trying to be in a relationship. The thing is, i don't feel the need to be with someone, except for the feeling to be loved and important for someone. I have been "playing" with guys - i admit it- dating them and then jilting them because i felt they were taking too much of me. I feel like i am not breathing anymore, and like there is a stranger in my personnal space.
As they go, i start to miss them - but i know it wouldn't work anyway because of that.

I feel good by myself, i am travelling, working, experiencing things. I can do whatever i want, whenever i want (i am aware i sound really like a spoiled child). I just feel my friends and family pressure around me. I feel sorry for the guys i have met, because they thing they are the problem, and they are not (even if you insist on it, they wouldn't believe you).

Is someone else feeling the same?
Should i force myself more than that?
Since couple is a natural thing, i am an alien?

thanks!

Ps. Sorry for my bad english whriting, it's not my native langage

**jns** · 04-25-2010 09:13 AM

Don't worry about what others do or think. Sometime, somewhere, probably when you aren't looking, you will meet someone and then fall in love. At that time, you will have to try to think logically and emotionally if that person is the one for you and if your affections are returned. Then everything that seems so alien at this time will seem so correct. Don't force anything.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 04-25-2010 03:59 PM

Oh yes......yes.....yes....and MORE yes. I do feel your pain. How old are you? I'm 27, and I am in a relationship right now, but I struggle with even the concept of it. At times I feel it interferes with my life (even though he's very accomodating). Thing is, I have felt that way about relationships since a guy I loved dearly broke my heart. I don't love him anymore of course, but ever since then part of me says "focus on you, focus on your future,all the rest will come when time is right". So up until the guy I'm with now, my relationships lasted a couple months if even that. And like you, I forced it.

Everyone around me is married, engaged, or dying to be that way. Not me. I just bought my own home and I LOVE having my own place, I'll be starting an MBA soon, I have wonderful family and best friends...... and sometimes I feel like I just don't have the time nor the desire to exhaust myself to have a relationship.

I stay with this guy, because I think he's worth it. But it's not easy for me.

You're enjoying life, and let me tell you, that is PRICELESS. People will force you and put pressure on you....cause society teaches us how we "should" live our lives. But remember, you are you...and if you're happy and enjoying life, then that's alot more than you can say for a lot of married folks.

**sourpuss** · 04-25-2010 05:38 PM

I'm in the same boat as you and BD. I'd like to think it's because we are secure and independent enough to know that we don't need a man to complete us. I've been lucky enough to find someone hiw knows and appreciates that.