Why am I so clingy?

**Frozenpeas** · 05-02-2010 06:35 PM

Ever since my parents divorced when I was 6years old, I've known that you can never rely on anyone, yet I still do.

I don't know when my clingyness started, but it seemed to get worse around the break-up of my first relationship when I was 15.

I have found someone else, but he lives about 400 miles from where I am, and I don't know when we'll next see each other again. There have been a lot of complications in our relationship, and even his friend's girl friend trying to break us up and spreading lies about me, this has not made things better. Despite this, he still says he loves me, and wants to be with me, and we will be together properly once he finishes university, and I move up there.

I have friends, just not very close ones, as the people who I have trusted over the years, I have either been parted from, or have turned against me. When I am close friends with people, I end up being very clingy, wanting to spend, what I see as too much time with them, and there are always more important people than me anyway. Whenever I talk to people about my problems it always feels like I'm talking too much about myself, and they're going to bring it up some day, or use something I've said against me. I do have an old friend however, that I've known for 15years, and never fallen out with, but when my parents divorced I had to move 200 miles away from her, and now that she's got a boyfriend and troubles of her own, it feels like she no longer has time for me.

So now, my boyfriend feels like the only person I can rely on. When I can't speak to him, I'm usually thinking about him, and wishing he was here. I feel like I'm being clingy, but whenever I ask him if I'm being too clingy he always says that I'm not. Although we know it'll be a long time before we see eachother in person, we video call eachother almost every day, and this makes me feel better, although when he has to go off to do his uni work, I never want him to go, although I know he has to. I tell him almost everything, and he comes online almost every time that I say I'm feeling upset, to cheer me up.

Why am I so clingy?

**GlassDaemon** · 05-06-2010 01:48 AM

It's hard not to be clingy in long distance relationships, I've done a number of online relationships and I always felt like I was clingier than the other person. My current boyfriend only lives a hop skip and a jump away, I'm not half as clingy since I get to see him so often.

I only have two friends really, close ones that I actually associate with on a regular basis anyway. One is getting married and in the passed five months I've only seen her if it relates to the wedding and the other has a job, a boyfriend and college so I see her like once every two weeks if I'm lucky. I'm fine with that though, I just find stuff to busy myself with, which is probably what your problem is, you have nothing to do. Get a job, go to college, get a car, keep yourself busy and you'll find the time to see your sweetie next isn't so far away.

It's about keeping an active life, not saying you won't miss your partner, but that it won't be so rough.

**GlassDaemon** · 05-06-2010 01:48 AM

It's hard not to be clingy in long distance relationships, I've done a number of online relationships and I always felt like I was clingier than the other person. My current boyfriend only lives a hop skip and a jump away, I'm not half as clingy since I get to see him so often.

I only have two friends really, close ones that I actually associate with on a regular basis anyway. One is getting married and in the passed five months I've only seen her if it relates to the wedding and the other has a job, a boyfriend and college so I see her like once every two weeks if I'm lucky. I'm fine with that though, I just find stuff to busy myself with, which is probably what your problem is, you have nothing to do. Get a job, go to college, get a car, keep yourself busy and you'll find the time to see your sweetie next isn't so far away.

It's about keeping an active life, not saying you won't miss your partner, but that it won't be so rough.

**BasketCase** · 05-09-2010 05:41 AM

If you love him and he loves you and is ok with your clingyness then I don't see a problem with it. It seems to me your only real problem is finding friends you can trust.. thats never easy as we seem to live in a world of fake people. Hard but not immposible. Focus on that. And if you find a good friens to spend time with you will see yourself being less clighy with ur man.