It sounds like he is using you, and in order to not feel guilty about it he's making sure to verbalize to you that he see's no future with you ... that way its your choice as to whether or not you want to all the usage to continue.
He can always say later, when you are hurt and crying... I always told you , we're not compatible!
If you are happy with no strings sex, are getting pleasure out of it and its not otherwise interfering with your emotions than , eh, you're fine keeping on as you are.
If you have feelings for him, they will only grow stronger... perhaps you hope eventually his will too -- they likely wont. You may have your heart tied up to this guy and passing up guys that want what you want... while you hold on to something that never will be.
Decide what you want for your life, its its love and emotional connection, you're going to have to let this guy go. He's tried to make that easy for you, albeit he is still just selfish enough to make it hard on you by weaving his way back into your life time and again.
To me, he calls you , wants you, for easy no strings sex and then back to his life until he's got a lonely cold bed... then its time to call you again.
You already know what this is, what it will lead to, and the longer you let it go on... all the more pain is to be had when you do finally give up on this. The sooner the better that you cut ties with him.
Deny him access to your body, it might inspire him to figure out more about you beyond the sex... if he is interested. If all you are is sex to him, if you deny him your body more than a few times -- he'll move on to a less difficult target.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
I know all the advice above is truth and he is probably just using me and i am letting him. I am trying not to stay in contact with him and told him for the sanity of my head and heart I couldn't do this anymore.
The only thing is I miss him so much, it hurts. I've never felt like this about anyone before I when we are together I always feel he feels the same but obviously not.
thanks for the advice.
It's for the best, tell him not to call you anymore, delete his number if temptation is so hard to resist.
When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
~Sri Chimnoy Ghose
It takes two to tango and you keep on responding to his advances. You have to sit down and ask yourself what you want out of the relationship. If he isn't giving you what you want, you have to ask yourself what you are going to do about it.
It sounds like you are trying to restart the former relationship. Who initiated the breakup? If it was you, remember the reasons you wanted to breakup. If it was your former SO, ask yourself if you want someone who was and is willing to throw away the relationship you two had.
I think that the only reason that you "miss" him is because you've focused so much on him that you've become blinded by it. Get out of that mindset. He's no good. You're better than a "booty call" - just remember that.Originally Posted by shoes34
You clearly don't like how you feel after the fact! Be kind to yourself first - not to him! Trust me, you'll feel awesome when you turn him down with a strong "shoe" clad foot. No more of the "I don't think that we should" stuff.... just say "NO" - it'll make you feel better and MOVE ON!!!
I get it - "the heart wants what the heart wants" - but sometimes "brain and heart" have a disconnect that needs to be severed!
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