So confused

**snuffie** · 05-07-2010 06:40 PM

Hi,
some of you my have read my previous thread about my split with my ex, we split both in love with each other but circumstances led to it. Anyway my ex asked for no contact to help him get his head around things and saying speaking to the women he loved everyday would be too painful and make him want to get back together even though he was the one who initiated the split, no contact wasn't my choice and at first I found it hard to do, but eventually accepted it.
Anyway I hadn't heard from him at all until this morning when I recieved a "happy birthday message" saying happy birthday sarah, hope you have a great day. I replied saying thanks hope you are ok, work and your family are good. and I havn't had a reply at all.
Im just confused by his actions.....any ideas?

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 07:09 PM

Why did you split up?

**LanaBear** · 05-07-2010 07:11 PM

This was a man that you had a relationship with. The two of you parted, but still have very strong feelings for each other. He's more than likely thinking about you on your birthday and wanted to at least be able to convey that to you somehow, to let you know that you are still in his thoughts.

He may or may not respond, especially if he is looking for some distance, but that doesn't mean you are not on his mind and I think wishing you a happy birthday was nice.

**snuffie** · 05-07-2010 07:12 PM

He is an officer in the british army, his job meant a lot of time away and our plans changing short notice, things getting cancel and I got upset by things military life was new for me and I didn't cope as well as I could of, but I loved him so and would have coped for him. He said that he couldn't give me what I wanted and what he wanted to give me. He was planning to propose last weekend he told me when we split.

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 07:40 PM

Is he worth trying to work through that stuff?

**snuffie** · 05-07-2010 08:09 PM

Yes, he totally is, I love him with every inch of my body and heart, he is the love of my life, we talked and wanted to get married and have children. But he asked for this time and I think if have any chance of getting him back I have to give him what he asked for. Im just so confused by him, he could be a very closed book sometimes and hard to read and I told him that when we together. I spoke with one of his close female army friends who said he had said he was devastated and he had just gone in to "shutters down" mode.

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 08:22 PM

So why not accept the fact that it's going to be a crazy military schedule and just live with it? What about him being in the military out-weighs being with him?

**snuffie** · 05-07-2010 08:32 PM

nothing does outweigh him, he was the one that split with me, yes I found it difficult but having him was worth it, I wouldn't of done it for anyone, but for my ex yes i would of done, but he felt that he could'nt ask that of me and upset me when things happened. He split with me, but with the stong feelings, I have to give him the time he asked for with no contact or me upsetting and pushing will force him away.

**sourpuss** · 05-07-2010 08:40 PM

Why not just send him a text or a letter saying that you don't mind the schedule/military life and that he's worth dealing with it? Then let it be and let him decide.

**kaenat** · 05-07-2010 11:51 PM

hey sarah.. i understand how it feels to be deeply in love and having strong feelings for eachother. I think u should get back to ur ex and tell him to give it another shot. trust me it's really difficult to have strong feelings for each other and connect with other guy!! text him saying dat u want him back.. it;s not worth giving up on each other like dis..