Thread: co-workers you love to hate

I have been on short term disability for five months due to right shoulder surgery. My co-workers sent flowers the day after surgery. I sent a thank you note. I do not want to go back to this miserable job and am scheduled to return next Monday. Even though my recovery has been painful it has been well worth not dealing with the staff I work with. If any of you after reading the following history, have any suggestions or similar issues I would love to read them.

Background: I work with over 20 women ages from 30 to 55 in a confined government office with no privacy and raging hormones, it's called a bull pen for obvious reasons. Been there two years but was on FMLA for 4 months in 2005 due to my mothers terminal illness and now of course my surgery. I have had little to no real training and still can not meet deadlines since my supervisor is a horrible teacher and spends hours a day on personal conversations and gossip and is the first one to make you feel stupid for all to hear. Because she has been there so long she does know her job and no one will confront her even though management knows the problems. I am not close friends with anyone as the only person with any people skills retired, and most of the rest will cut your throat. My two closest friends work in other offices, we knew each other and our families before working there. Keep in mind I do not socialize with the other women, since you can't say anything that won't be blown out of proportion and spread like wildfire, so I've learned to shut my mouth and talk about the weather.

I am terribly depressed just thinking about returning. I would rather be ill. The woman who previously had my job, who is one of the dear friends I spoke of, left for another office and says she can't visit my office even now without her stomach churning and breaking into a cold sweat. Keep in mind that jobs here are few and far between because we are so rural so you can't just "change jobs". I was moved laterally when my friend left and had no choice in the matter even though my training and experience was for my previous job.

I have applied for another position still within the government agency but won't know if I have it for at least a few more weeks. Pray for me that I get it.

Here is my real problem: It has come to my attention that since I left in October many comments have been made like "so and so had that same surgery and they returned to work in two weeks, why is she still out...." or "I saw her at the grocery store!!!!" (like I should be in bed in a coma or something) and "she only stopped to pay her insurance, and doesn't stop to see us and hasn't called any of us..." Now realize that the major culprit in all of this is my supervisor's supervisor who instead of calling me to see how I was or when I might return (even though I send off work slips to personnel after every dr appointment as I was told to do) had the nerve to go to my friends office and ask her what she knew about my return but never picked up the phone to call me.

I spoke to my supervisor the end of January when she called to invite me to a retirement party for a co-worker at $30 a couple. Now remember I am on disability and so too was my husband at that time, $30 was a lot of money so I kindly declined. Not to mention that why, if I am not well enough to go to work and they are all a buzz about me being seen out would I attend a party, or even stop by the office. I am sick remember, they are quick to comment that I was seen out but on the other hand upset because I don't stop to chit chat. You just can't win with this bunch.

After hearing all of this yet no one bothering to call me, only doing what they always do "assuming" things, I sat down and typed and faxed the office a very nice letter mid February and told whoever got it off the fax to be sure my supervisors saw it first. I clearly outlined my situation in a very friendly manner, telling them of the pain I was in still, how my day consisted of physical therapy, grabbing what I needed while out or paying a bill and heading home to take a pain pill and lie down again. I even told them I was getting cabin fever and that I would appreciate a call or email if they had a chance. I never received one call or response. Last week when my dr said I could return to work 4/2/07 I contacted personnel and called my supervisor, I got her voice mail and left her a message about my return. No return call again.

How do you deal with this kind of office issue? Do I just go in next Monday like I know nothing of the problem and gossip and count my time until I can find something else? I honestly don't know if my nerves can stand it. My supervisor's supervisor even had the nerve when asked last week by a subordinate at a meeting (my friend attended) when I would be returning, to say that she wasn't sure, that she knew I had been in the building but had made no effort to stop in. in the fax I clearly told her that I am quite upset with my slow progress and preferred not stopping in the office since I knew I would probably cry if I had to elaborate on my condition. Not to mention that the day before I know for a fact that personnel told her when I would be returning.

Keep in mind that this should probably be a workers comp issue since I have continually been treated for right arm issues since I started working there. I sit at a non ergonomic desk with the monitor and key board high on an old steel desk, no head set (get dozens of calls a day). Now I told them this would be an issue for me after my first neck and shoulder problem (trapexious muscle) and they never fixed it. I underwent months of physical therapy for it. Then my elbow started giving me problems and I had to have a cortizone shot. Then my shoulder kept getting worse and I ended up with tendonitis a rotator cuff tear and arthritis etc. The doctor and my pt staff know of the issues in these offices and that is one reason I have not been allowed back to work until all of the inflamation is gone.

This office environment is just awful. I hate my job. I dislike many of my coworkers. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cid

I agree. The only thing you can control is your reaction to other people. If you let other people get to you then you make your life miserable. Somehow keep distance from them or mentally shut them out and just focus on the work you have to do. In your free time try doing things you enjoy if possible so that you feel rejuvinated when going back to work and their comments won't bother you as much.

I have one supervisor that annoys me to know end and I've found I feel better when I control the way I react to her. I try not to let annoying people annoy me. In one ear and out the other if you know what I mean. If the work is what you don't enjoy or is unfufilling then by all means look for another position that suits you. Change requires action and if you aren't happy then start looking to see what else is out there.

Good luck!