My SO might be getting sent to India for the summer :(

**kygirl** · 05-20-2010 10:34 AM

So a couple weeks ago, he started talking about he might have to get sent to training for two weeks to AZ... Not thrilled with the idea of not seeing him for two weeks, but okay... Then, he said training was out but they might need him to work in another office... One was 3 hours away and the other was 20 hours away

BUT they would fly him home on every other weekend...

Last night, he told me he was talking to his boss and they need help in one office more than in others... the office is in INDIA...

He'd be gone for about 8 weeks, leaving in a few weeks if they approve it. He'll miss my moving to my new place, he'll miss my birthday, 4th of July, and the three months out of the year that we both actually aren't totally losing our minds with school and work

He told me that he's going to try to convince them it's not economically feasible but I'm worried... We've been together about 5 months and the thought of him being gone for 2 just makes me nervous...

**sourpuss** · 05-20-2010 10:49 AM

As they say, absence make the heart grow fonder.

It is hard though. I understand. But the up side is that it will be a good test of how much you care for one another and what a great experience for him to live in India for two months. 8 week will honestly fly by. If it were me, I'd jump at the chance to go. But that's me.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, we had been close friends for a few months and only an item for maybe 2 months when I left for over a month. We missed each other like crazy but I wouldn't trade it for the trip I was able to take. And we were more crazy about each other when I got back. He called and left me messages everyday, or emailed. It was nice to know that he missed me and was thinking about me, something I may not have known had I not been gone.

All that being said, I know it's hard and he'll miss some fun/important events for you and that's not fun. But I just can't get passed the idea of what a great opportunity to see another part of the world that he may never have the chance to see otherwise. Is there a chance that you could meet up with him at the end and take a little vacation there with him?

**kygirl** · 05-20-2010 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

Is there a chance that you could meet up with him at the end and take a little vacation there with him?

Well it's apparently like a 23 hour flight and I don't have my passport

I mean, I could get a rush passport, so that's not a major issue but I don't have the time (not enough vacation time that isn't scheduled for school things or family stuff) or the money to go over there right now. I do agree it'd be a good opportunity for him to experience something different... I just wish it wasn't quite so long... A month, okay, but two months just seems like forever with my roommate leaving to move back home and him possibly being gone. I have a larger network of friends but 2/3 of them are taking the Bar Exam so they're all "unavailble" till that is over end of July.

it's not so much that I think it'll hurt us because I know he wants to be with me and vice versa... we just "fit" if that makes any sense... Not obviously, but we do... It just hurts to imagine not seeing him for so long. He was gone for a week once and I missed him horribly and that was 2 months in...

We'd just made lots of plans for summer... We were gonna take golf lessons and maybe sign up for a Kempo class. We had some weekend trips we were organizing, hiking trips being planned, new restaurants to try, etc. And now it seems like it all might have to wait...

**LanaBear** · 05-20-2010 11:02 AM

It's a great opportunity and you can meet him in the middle, if that is an option.

I was dating my hubby for 4-5 months when I said Sayonara and left him to go to Europe for 3 months. It is something I would never ever ever take back. Did I miss him beyond belief, absolutely! I sent him a postcard every other day and he's still got them, lol.

Yeah, you'll miss each other, but it's 2 months out of a potential lifetime. Not everything goes as planned, so don't let it break your heart too much. There will be other times in which you can do what you planned together.

**sourpuss** · 05-20-2010 11:09 AM

Don't wait to do all the stuff you planned! Go hiking, join kempo, take golf lessons. Not only will it be fun and you'll learn something new, but you'll have something to occupy your time while he's gone. I love doing stuff like that by myself. I don't know, it just makes me feel more independent and empowered. I think that was what drew my boyfriend to me in the first place, because I didn't need a man to do those things with.

Then when he gets back you'll have lots to share. You can teach him what you learned about golf and kempo. You can share your pictures from your hike trips. I think it would be a good bonding thing to share what you two did while he was away. You don't want him to get back, share all the stories of being in another country only to hear that you sat at home being sad because you missed him.

**LanaBear** · 05-20-2010 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

Don't wait to do all the stuff you planned! Go hiking, join kempo, take golf lessons. Not only will it be fun and you'll learn something new, but you'll have something to occupy your time while he's gone. I love doing stuff like that by myself. I don't know, it just makes me feel more independent and empowered. I think that was what drew my boyfriend to me in the first place, because I didn't need a man to do those things with.

Then when he gets back you'll have lots to share. You can teach him what you learned about golf and kempo. You can share your pictures from your hike trips. I think it would be a good bonding thing to share what you two did while he was away. You don't want him to get back, share all the stories of being in another country only to hear that you sat at home being sad because you missed him.

Good point here! Don't sit around while he is gone pondering all the stuff you WOULD have been doing together, go do it yourself. It's nothing that he can't join in on when he gets back. Plus you'll have stuff to share with him just like he will be sharing with you. Plus if you don't occupy your time, 8 weeks will feel like 80.

**kygirl** · 05-20-2010 11:16 AM

I wouldn't be at home doing nothing, it's just that those are things we talked about doing together because we both enjoy learning about those things. I just started doing Zumba again and I will be decorating my new place and visiting my family some and having garage sales to get rid of things before I move and hiking/going to baseball games, etc with friends...

It's just that I was also looking forward to sharing things with him this summer... Our lives are so chaotic normally till we're done with school and his divorce is finally wrapping up and the last few weeks have been phenomenal... It's not that life won't go on, because it will and my friends would keep me occupied... I just hate that I don't even have the option of seeing him. I checked on flights and they are $1500... at least if he was in the States, I could maybe find a cheap ticket and they'd be sending him home occassionally... I think it's just that I don't have the option...

**pretzel** · 05-20-2010 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by kygirl

I wouldn't be at home doing nothing, it's just that those are things we talked about doing together because we both enjoy learning about those things. I just started doing Zumba again and I will be decorating my new place and visiting my family some and having garage sales to get rid of things before I move and hiking/going to baseball games, etc with friends...

It's just that I was also looking forward to sharing things with him this summer... Our lives are so chaotic normally till we're done with school and his divorce is finally wrapping up and the last few weeks have been phenomenal... It's not that life won't go on, because it will and my friends would keep me occupied... I just hate that I don't even have the option of seeing him. I checked on flights and they are $1500... at least if he was in the States, I could maybe find a cheap ticket and they'd be sending him home occassionally... I think it's just that I don't have the option...

I know this sucks and it should. Nobody likes having curves thrown at them especially when things are good.

It may not be a done deal, but seems like it's pretty close so there doesn't seem like alot that can be done except deal with it. This is life and sometimes we don't get to make all of our own decisions. I'm pretty sure he'd want to stay if he had an option. Obviously quitting isn't one of them.

At the end of the day though despite all the things the two of you wanted to do this summer and all the important things the two of you will miss out on together, he'll be coming home to you and only you. Keep that in your heart every time the two you talk not only before he goes, but until the day he steps off the plane.

**grrrr** · 05-20-2010 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by pretzel

At the end of the day though despite all the things the two of you wanted to do this summer and all the important things the two of you will miss out on together, he'll be coming home to you and only you. Keep that in your heart every time the two you talk not only before he goes, but until the day he steps off the plane.

That's a really nice thought. And I agree that it totally sucks.... sometimes you can't change "life" - but you can be realisitic about how to work around it, and I agree with Pretzel.... as long as you're willing to know the "end point" - you can work through it..... It totally sucks, I don't think that anyone can say that it doesn't.....

8 weeks in the course of a lifetime really isn't that long of a period of time. The timing totally stinks.... but you'll get over this hurdle!

**kygirl** · 05-21-2010 07:59 AM

Thanks everyone... We'll know for sure in about two weeks. Right now, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best...whatever that may be... We have our trip to DC together in 8 days, so right now I'm going to focus on having a great time while we're gone and then worry about whatever else when we get back!

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