Thread: Opinions wanted -

Originally Posted by WildChild

That may well be true. But it needs to be carefully looked at.

My children's father's parents can seem very nice but it turned out the man has BPD, one of his brother's violently so, his sister started severely abusing her kids and it is all based in childhood abuse. Those "nice" grandparents raised their children in an atmosphere of emotional and physical abuse. No one in that family talks about it or admits. The kids will defend their parents to the hilt. When my marriage to my kid's father was ending (I and my kids went into hiding for a several days at one point) the man came close to a break down, was suicidal and the stories came pouring out for a day. Then he clammed up again and denied it. The psychologist said that was probably his one window of honesty.

This is also true of my own family, there was intermittant abuse, both physical and emotional, it was cyclic. I have no doubt that very few people would have guessed, then or now. Our family was well educated, articulate, professional, well mannered. Were our parents horrible people? Absolutely not. They were carrying a cycle they were raised with. My siblings and I were fortunate to be raised know it wasn't how things should be and have broken the cycle. The point is that things aren't always what they seem.

Good point and well said.