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Thread: Boyfriend issue

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    Default Boyfriend issue

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    My boyfriend said in the heat of the moment the other night - I analyze everything??? I was really upset at the time and I don't understand why he thinks that, and how can I avoid coming across that way?
    We have been dating eight months, is just part of getting to know each other.

  2. #2
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    For the purpose of answers, what did your boyfriend say in the heat of the moment?

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Joey's Avatar
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    I wouldnt worry to much about this, at the end of the day he could have said something 10 times worse!! (i remeber my ex telling me that I wasnt marriage material. well nice! especially as i was only 22 then aswell ha!)
    If you are still annoyed about what he said, ask him why he thinks you over analyse things. Ask him what have you done recently that makes him feel this way.
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride!!"
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    Thank you for replies. We were both slightly drunk at the time, and I basically told him to have a soft drink. He turned round and said 'Do I analyse everything'?? - We both apologised yesterday morning, but I never asked him why he thought I'd analyse everything. Should I ask him or leave it be now? I am a worrier so maybe to him that is over analysing things.

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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Joey's Avatar
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    I wouldnt class you telling him to have a soft drink as over analysing. I would more put that to you having common sense.
    It sounds like he doesnt actually understand what the term 'over analysing' means (as your comment certainly isnt over analysing) or he just said it in a confused drunken state. which lets be honest, it will most probably be the latter!!
    You both have spoken about it, apologised and cleared the air which is really good. If it was me, I would only bring it up if he said i over analysed things again.
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride!!"
    "I dream about being with you forever." - Twilight

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    I'd just leave it be at this point since you've both addressed it after the fact.

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    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    You're analyzing over why he would think you analyze over everything... do you see the connection I'm guilty of overthinking things too but sometimes a cigar is really just that. Guys (no offense to the men) tend to be a bit less emotionally complex. If he says the food is cold... its because the food is cold, not because he doesn't like your dress, think you're fat or dislikes your cat.

    A lot of women can have the tendency to find the deeper meanings in actions and words... because we ourselves, sometimes give hidden meanings in our actions and words but most guys... they just aren't that way.

    So if you are asking, probing, wondering... about various matters that don't mean anything at all but what they show on the surface -- he probably thinks your overthinking things/worrying too much/ overanalyzing...

    I'm guilty of it... but learning to not have to know why everything means this or that... sometimes it doesn't mean anything.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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    WH Super Moderator Array sourpuss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveCatherine View Post
    My boyfriend said in the heat of the moment the other night - I analyze everything??? I was really upset at the time and I don't understand why he thinks that, and how can I avoid coming across that way?
    We have been dating eight months, is just part of getting to know each other.
    Just to play devil's advocate here....you're over analyzing him saying you analyze everything, so he may have a point.
    Do you over analyze everything? Do you get a thought and just run with it? Do you HAVE to know what every little thing he says or does 'means'? If you do, then you may want to relax and back off a bit.
    Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard.

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    WH Super Moderator Array sourpuss's Avatar
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    ....I suppose I should have read HDs post before I posted. Haha.
    Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard.

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