Slept with my friend who is also my housemate

**SirenaC** · 06-15-2010 05:10 AM

I've known my friend and housemate for 7 years. We worked together for 3. And I had a massive crush on him. At the time I was a very big girl, obese. I knew nothing more than friendship was on offer from him, especially after a few very clumsy flirtations. I ended up moving away for work and because I wanted to give myself a chance at forming other relationships. I still kept in touch with him, he is a very funny man and a great friend. I had a few dates but compared everyone to him.

I ended up moving back because I missed family and friends. After years of dieting I decided to have surgery to lose the weight. I got a new job and met a great guy through friends. He was funny and we had a fair bit in common. At the time I was living at home and wanted out. My friend suggested we rent together and as I was in a relationship and exceptionally happy I thought why not. I still had feelings for him but didn't think much of it because of the feelings I had for the man I was seeing.

A couple months ago things started going wrong in my relationship. I found out that while i wanted to make plans for our future he was happy with just letting things slide along the way they were. I felt at times like I was mothering him and not being a girlfriend. We ended up splitting, it was mutual but it hurt and I was angry. My friend had become pretty good friends with my ex by then and though he I was his friend first he still sociallises with him regularly.

Last week I went out with them and a bunch of other friends. I had a great time but drank way too much. My housemate and I got a cab home and stumbed inside. He kissed me goodnight outside our bedroom doors. It was amazing and completely unexpected. I said goonight and went my room where I promptly burst into tears. Then he knocked on my door. I ended up in his room. We enjoyed ourselves greatly but were too drunk to do much. I've lost 80 pounds (40 kg) lighter than when we first met. He has been avoiding me slot and told me he thinks it was a mistake that shouldn't have happened.

I still have feelings for him but am unsure about whether to tell him or just leave it be. Should I risk it all or move out and on. I like living with him but I'm not sure how to move past this.

**rcoreyus** · 06-15-2010 10:16 AM

Is your housemate in a relationship? If not, did he say why he thought it was a mistake?

**SirenaC** · 06-15-2010 03:41 PM

No. The day after it happened we had friends over and then I had to go away for the weekend. We didnt get a chance to talk about anything. On the Monday night when I saw him things were strained between us. I asked if we were going to talk about it and he said probably not. That it was a mistake that shouldn't of happened. Then he cracked a joke about something unrelated. I didn't say anything. Then later when I was heading to bed I told him I didn't regret what had happened.

I know we were both drunk but that night was amazing. I had never felt anything like that before. I'm just very confused because why did he knock on my door? Why do it? He had to know what would happen. He kissed me, not the other way around.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-15-2010 04:24 PM

Is it possible he knew you had a crush on him, so took the gamble you would open the door.

Alcohol allows you to do things that you otherwise, wouldn't, or would but wouldn't have the guts to.

I'd say, he doesn't want anything serious, so he's making those comments but he still likes you as a person or he wouldn't have cracked the joke.

Keep it as a great memory and go about your life.

CW

**SirenaC** · 06-16-2010 04:31 AM

Thanks

I'd been coming to that decision too. I just hope we can both move past any awkwardness and remain friends.

**SirenaC** · 06-24-2010 07:20 AM

Ok, so it's been a few weeks and he's still avoiding me. We get to have the odd moment where things seem normal, but then he's also going out more or inviting his mate over more often. It's as if he doesn't want to be alone with me anymore. I'm trying hard to understand. I know he's friends with my ex now, but it's not like I'm going to jump him.

Our lease is up mid august so I've got to talk him about it. I'd love to stay here and I like living with him for the most part (it'd be great if he could take the rubbish out more often lol) but I need to know whether he's happy to stay here.

I miss our conversations. I hate that one drunken night could take away an awesome friendship.