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Thread: how i gonna make him get over of my past?

  1. 06-17-2010 01:03 PM #1
    ladypelham
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    Default how i gonna make him get over of my past?

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    i am 24 yrs and he is 50 yrs. we are in love together until someth bad happeed. He can not get over of my past. i told lie to him before because i dont want him to know as i really love him so much, then he found out as i lied he was very angry like an animal everytime. i lied about i have just only one man before him and when he knew i have two men before him, he was very angry and tried to push me away from him. He said he didnt know when he can get over again.... After that he tried to find other man, he said he tried to look at my heart not about sex, and he told me he really loves me. When i told him i really love him he said he will never trust or believe in me again. the only way that make he feel okay is find other man and let other man having sex with me. I just say NO! and make him very sad, he said i made him thought about my past as i had done before why i could not do again, i said i dont want him to feel bad again.... he said that i hurt his heart and hurt his soul.... he said there are two choices 1 get rid of me and find another woman who first love with him have sex with him the first and be romantic or another choice try to accepte what did i do before... and he said i really dont know that he really care of me if he wont he didnt be like this. and i felt very bad i really dontwant to do anything with another guy but when i told him that i do what you what me to do he a little bit better just a little bit because he said it is very hard to get over everything that i do...

    what i gonna do to make him get over that and accept my truth feeling?? I need you please help me too!!!!
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  2. 06-17-2010 01:28 PM #2
    Hopeless Dork
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    Okay first of all he is 50. The chances of him finding a woman that has saved herself all those years with no other man EVER ... are... just astronomical. He's dillusional if he thinks he's going to find a virgin bride. Either he loves you for the person you are today or he just doesn't love you.

    If he is only interested in your sexual past, he doesn't love you... only the notion of your being 'pure' in his eyes. Are you the first person he's ever touched? I'm betting not, I'm also betting you don't rake him over the coals over what he's done in his 50 years.

    There is not much you can do if he's unwilling to handle the situation like a grown up. He's 50 years old and he is (sadly) not likely to change his ways.

    What is it about this man do you love?
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
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  3. 06-17-2010 01:29 PM #3
    Joey
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    Am i right in thinking that your boyfriend is angry because you have had a sexual history with 2 people, instead of just the 1 you originally claimed?
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride!!"
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  4. 06-17-2010 03:06 PM #4
    SaharaJim
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    That's what i read Joey- and his "solution" is for her to have sex with another man of his choosing. I don't know what to say.
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  5. 06-17-2010 04:41 PM #5
    sourpuss
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    This is completely ridiculous. I can't even think of anything to say it's so absurd.
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  6. 06-17-2010 05:17 PM #6
    Mes T
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    As the others, I'm quite shocked... I think the best solution here would be to leave him to his weirdness and find yourself a new boyfriend, one with whom you can have a normal and healthy relationship.
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  7. 06-17-2010 10:39 PM #7
    jns
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    ladypelham, don't let him get you to have sex with another man. It will destroy your relationship. Has he fallen out of love with you? How long has it been since he found out about your past. It may take some time before he comes to terms with it. If he really loves you, he will come to terms with it. He should apologize for even suggesting you have sex with another guy.

    Alternately, he may be playing you to see if he can get you to fulfill his darkest fantasies. Again, don't let him get you to have sex with another man. In fact, if you think that is the case, run hard and fast.
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  8. 06-18-2010 02:30 AM #8
    Joey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mes_T View Post
    As the others, I'm quite shocked... I think the best solution here would be to leave him to his weirdness and find yourself a new boyfriend, one with whom you can have a normal and healthy relationship.
    totally agree with this. He sounds completly mental. I have no understanding of his logic - how does he feel that you sleeping with another man will possibly help the situation? you say he was angry when he found out you had slept with 2 guys instead of just the one you said - so why does he want you to sleep with a further man? that will then make three - wont that just tip him over the edge?

    I would have to leave him as his requests and thinking are just far to random. Dont put yourself through this anymore.
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming WOO-HOO what a ride!!"
    "I dream about being with you forever." - Twilight
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  9. 06-18-2010 07:15 AM #9
    lushley666
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    I have to agree - he makes NO sense! He is contradicting himself by asking you to sleep with another man of his choice!! I really think this man is a control freak and you seem to be his slave! Find someone who is not so strict - sleeping with two men at 24 is comendable in this day and age and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Ok you lied but it's hardly a huge lie!! He sounds a little bit weird to me - and thats me being polite....
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  10. 06-26-2010 08:05 AM #10
    ladypelham
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    Quote Originally Posted by sourpuss View Post
    This is completely ridiculous. I can't even think of anything to say it's so absurd.
    i dont know every men gonna be like this??? i tried many many way.... but i try to forget it now. Maybe i gonna be happy ...
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