More exciting/memorable the first time
About the same
More exciting/memorable in a new but later relationship
First and Later Relationships
I came across an interesting article yesterday and it inspired a few questions that I thought I'd take a poll on to get some idea about. I'd like to give an explanation for why I'm asking this, but I'll refrain till I get some responses so I don't bias answers (I guess I do remember something from psych 101!)
This question applies mainly to the ladies that have had more than one serious relationship.
Thinking back over romantic history, would you say that kissing, going on dates, and sex are as exciting and memorable the very first time as they are the first time in a new (but second or third, etc.) relationship?
definatly, without a doubt, its like a drug, the new feeling is exhillirating, you have a flush in you cheeks and everything is slightly awkward. Amazing. But the honeymoon period wears off
some of my bfs though i have forgotten about and this post, reminds me. lol.
Take it easy! One step at a time x
Thanks for your post! For some reason I've really been obsessing over this lately after reading this article in Psychology Today Magazine called Heartbreak and Homeruns.
The pessimistic conclusion I drew from it is that what you do in your first relationship will be more memorable and exhilarating than in subsequent ones, and that really messes with me. I had my first relationship, and it ended in heartbreak with my partner cheating on me. The thing is I had all of my firsts then, from kissing to sex, and now I'm terrified that I will never feel the same way (or better?) in a new relationship. This perspective kind of sucks the meaning out of life - I'm trying to figure out if it's warranted or me just being pessimistic over what happened.
Last edited by WildChild; 06-18-2010 at 05:49 PM. Reason: Remioved prohibiited outbound link
Its called normal logic, we always run through the what ifs, maybes and perhaps. Its the way of thinking when your human and go through a traumatic expierience with a loved one. Not all people cheat, and there are some real good ones out there, just be patient and when the time is right i am sure everything will be just fine, all the best for the future. x
Take it easy! One step at a time x
First relationships tend to be a clumsy and awkward, you are learning and growing. As you get more experienced the nuances become more important. One day you look back with some indulgence at how naive you were.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
I mean where are they getting their data from? Surveys? Who are filling them out? Are they from a certain age group, area, background, etc? I wouldn't put too much faith in most surveys, basically...Originally Posted by mikailas88
I've had the exact same thoughts as you, especially when I broke up with my first boyfriend. We were together for 3 years and, well, it was quite an intense relationship in many ways (good and bad). When it was over, I really wondered if I could love the same way again.
Now it's been almost 3 years since, and I've found a wonderful man who I love more than anything but... in a different way. In a HEALTHY way. All of my same emotions are there, but different, because now I have more experience and a clearer head.
Will you love someone as much as your first boyfriend? Definitely. If not MORE. But it'll be a little different.
First does NOT equal best. Not by a long shot.
So it sounds like by different you mean clearer-minded about what's good for you and what makes you happy? Is there the same passion and excitement as in the first one? I've gone out on a couple of dates but they all seemed a little lackluster (though maybe I'm just not quite ready yet).
With the right person, yes there's been the same passion/excitement, if not more.
And yeah you're right, with experience you definitely realize what makes you happy. For me I've now learned the difference between love and obsession... it was more the latter for me, with my first boyfriend.
In your case, you could be not ready yet as you've said, or the people you've gone out with just haven't been for you, and that's fine. Trust me, one day you'll meet someone and all those feelings will come back, maybe better than before.
agree with mes t and good luck!
Take it easy! One step at a time x
Thanks guys, thank you for being supportive. This has really helped!
Posting Permissions
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks