Thread: why wont he support me?

For starters, how tall are you?

Seriously? You want your boyfriend to "help' you choose what to eat and when and where? Only if he's either the most talented tactful emo-path in existance; or suicidal. From HIS viewpoint this is the worst no win scenario. 1. Unless he is a dietician- how much does he really know about the appropriate food choice. 2. Even if he know what the "best choice" is - how is he to know your mood, taste, dietary actions for the previous 24 hour period? 3. What is he to know about your plains for food over the next 24 hours- Can he know if you are going to be very active or sedentary? 4. People when they are dening themself by dieting can get "snippy"- How is he to know your displeasure isn't going to be turned against him? 5. Diets 'succeed" and "Fail"- if he has agreed to "help" will he have to suffer your displeasure if you fail to meet a goal? 5. In the Movie 10 Ways to Lose A Guy- do you remember the restaurant scene where she cries out in the restaurant "HE THINKS I'M FAT!"?
I realize I am a "guy" and not competent to really understand- but i have fought with diet for over 39 years because i am a type 1 diabetic. The doctors taught me that I (and none else) had to be responsible for my diabetic control. Good luck and....maybe ....cut the guy a little slack on this one? If he sabotaging you by buying you ice cream then tell him about it but other than that....I think you have to take the lead and tell him...Let's skip the icream and have "good coffee" instead.

I'm agreeing with SaharaJim here. First off, I have a feeling you're not fat. But if you're unhappy with your body, you're right you should do something about it. But maybe he's happy with the way he's eating. I agree he should "support" you and encourage you, but he shouldn't be an expected participant. I can also see this turning against him if you go grab an ice cream bar and he says "Neh eh eh....better eat a carrot instead", then all of a sudden you're feeling like HE thinks you're fat.

Not a good scenario for him either way. He needs to be there for encouragement when you're doing well, but as far as what you eat, when you eat it, and how often you exercise, that HAS to be your baby to rock. Not his.

Its hard for ANYONE to get the support they need during weightloss... even if the people around them agree they should be losing weight. Even the people you love and that love you can innocently (meaning attempting no harm) sabotage your attempts.

I don't know what you want from your boyfriend, in which way you want his support. If you expect him to tell you not to eat the twinkies when you grab for the box--- not going to happen.

Dieting is hard, staying on track is hard... most people can't do it for themselves much less be responsible for doing it for someone else. If you want to lose weight, make a commitment to yourself... if you want your bf to support you by not buying you big macs on the way home from work -- that you can tell him, that, he can respect and do. But you can't expect him to be on YOUR diet... and by that I don't mean that he diet himself.

I mean that he sit around like a guard telling you what to eat and not eat... thats not supporting thats controlling... and as much as you think you might want that -- its not going to help you reach your goals. Because you have to learn to make good choices whether he's there or not.