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Thread: Best friend's husband diagnosed with lung cancer

  1. #1
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    Default Best friend's husband diagnosed with lung cancer

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    Last November I lost my grandmother to cancer. Now my best friend's husband has been diagnosed with cancer which metastasized from the kidneys to the lungs. He's in his mid-60's, my friend is in her early 50's, their son is getting married this weekend.

    I'm shocked by the news, I don't know what she is going to do without her husband or how much time he has left, by what I understood it's not much. She lives in my homecountry and there isn't really much I can do for her from so far away; I wrote her to let her know I'll be there for her for whatever she needs, if she wants to write or call, but I also understand if she wants to be alone with her husband (she had disappeared for a month and quit her job).

    What can a friend do in such a case? Her birthday is next month and I wish I could do something that would give her a smile, she's been really supportive to me for many years, she's both like a friend and a mother to me, but I feel like I'm pretty bad at comforting people or just have no ideas as to how to do that.

    What would you do?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+)MAY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array pretzel's Avatar
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    Listen............................................ .......................
    There will always be boundries, but making love is so different, than having sex, let's face it. CW

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array p3375's Avatar
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    agree w/ pretzl , and keep in touch. A little card w/ short note inside is a great way to say "I'm thinking about you". You might be surprised at how much comfort that can bring to someone who'se hurting.

  4. #4
    WH Super Moderator Array Fallen1's Avatar
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    I certainly hate that your friends have been dealt this card in their lives. I hope that the care he receives will be of benefit to him and his chances will improve dramatically and a remission or complete riddance of the cancer will come out of it.

    I agree with the above thoughts. Letting her know that you are there for her and thinking of her will be a great comfort.
    There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

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    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    All you can do is be there for them and like Pretz said, listen....

    A card, phone call, e-mail, just let them know they are in your thoughts.
    Friendship Prayer
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
    Amen

    Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.



  6. #6
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array stressed's Avatar
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    Yes, pretzel's answer was so simple but yet complete. It's hard knowing someone you care a lot for is going through such a difficult time. I hope letting her know that I think of them both will be at least a little comforting, because I do as if it happened in my own family.
    Thank you for the kind words, I will definitely try to listen.

  7. #7
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    like the others have said before, just be there for her and her husband, each person reacts and deals with such news and a diagnosis in different ways and they will both go through different stages, and their need of you as a friend will change. Someone to be angry at the world with, someone to rationalise with, someone to provide a shoulder to cry on. Or they may not discuss cancer and the diagnosis at all, just be open and receptive to them, and the best friend you can be. All the best to you and your friends
    "Eventually all the pieces fall into place...until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason".

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