My boyfriend left me pregnant

**pule_p** · 07-19-2010 02:18 AM

Good day all, i have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and coupler months, we both find out i was pregnat 2weeks back via pregnancy test, which he claimed he was happy, but he started questioning the pregnancy test and i got a bit uneasy about it, and asked him why if i had confirmed that i am pregnant, the following day he packed up his clothes and moved leaving a letter saying he can't do this anymore. He intially wanted the babe since he kept on insiting that i leave contraseptive, i'm not too sure what to make out of this situation, i must say i have been extremely stressed and havent been eating well since i don't have appetite either, i had stomach cramp of friday even which i had not choice but to call my brother to take me to the hospital i must say he was'nt impressed with my boyfried saying what kind of a man would leave his girlfriend pregnant, he even called him and made an appointment with him but he never called my brother nor fullfilled the appointment, to say the least he did not call me to find out how am i feeling. I honestly dont know what to make up of the situation but i know 1 thing i'm not happy.

I have been there for my boyfriend on almost everything he stayed with me , rental,food, clothes helped with his fees and also to connect him with few people i know to hook him up with a job and i was doing that for us not for him only but this is how he thanked me today, I will appreciate your advice thank you all

**jns** · 07-19-2010 07:45 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. There is a possibility he will come back, but don't bet on it. Some times it takes a while for guys to accept the situation and make it right. However, his leaving is not a good sign. Start eating right and taking care of yourself for the baby. I am sorry he did not see a baby on the way as a blessing.

**kygirl** · 07-19-2010 09:24 AM

I agree with JNS. Not sure how old you are, but maybe he just freaked out. Not the best way to react but maybe it just hit him. Especially if you are younger, it can be very disturbing. Have you tried to contact him at all? Do you know where he is staying?

Regardless, you need to take care of yourself for the baby...And he has an obligation to help support this child when it comes along, so not to put the cart before the horse here, but I'd make sure you get financial assistance from him if nothing else.

Sorry you're in this situation!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-19-2010 06:21 PM

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm sure you're confused, feel betrayed, feel it's unfair...and you're right...it is unfair. Alot of times guys have gotten mad at me for taking birth control so seriously and when I say "If I get pregnant it's my responsibility". All guys want to think they'd be there in that event....but the fact of the matter is they have the choice to be there or not. As women, we're left with a much different choice, neither of which are as easy as just walking away.

It sounds like you did a lot for him. Quite possibly too much. All those things you did for him, he should have been able to do on his own....and it's very likely that he's used to having someone around him take care of him, whether it's mom...some other family member...or a girlfriend. How's he going to be taken care of if HE has to be responsible for a child? So see...he's immature, perhaps selfish, maybe even a bit of a user. Right now, you need all your attention, time and money to be devoted to you and preparing for this baby. You're going to love this little one SO much that all this will be worth it. But remember this...baby is already alive....don't let his/her first 9 months of life to be filled with stress. Focus on YOU so that you can be a good mom for this baby for the next 9 months and forever. Because truly, nothing is more important.

Are you prenatals? If not, get on them asap. Eat lots of fruits and veggies and lots of water. Make YOU your next project instead of him....you and your baby don't need someone in your life that's not constant, dependable, loving, mature, responsible, kind, etc. You're much MUCH better off alone if you can't have that.

**pule_p** · 07-20-2010 01:19 AM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm sure you're confused, feel betrayed, feel it's unfair...and you're right...it is unfair. Alot of times guys have gotten mad at me for taking birth control so seriously and when I say "If I get pregnant it's my responsibility". All guys want to think they'd be there in that event....but the fact of the matter is they have the choice to be there or not. As women, we're left with a much different choice, neither of which are as easy as just walking away.

It sounds like you did a lot for him. Quite possibly too much. All those things you did for him, he should have been able to do on his own....and it's very likely that he's used to having someone around him take care of him, whether it's mom...some other family member...or a girlfriend. How's he going to be taken care of if HE has to be responsible for a child? So see...he's immature, perhaps selfish, maybe even a bit of a user. Right now, you need all your attention, time and money to be devoted to you and preparing for this baby. You're going to love this little one SO much that all this will be worth it. But remember this...baby is already alive....don't let his/her first 9 months of life to be filled with stress. Focus on YOU so that you can be a good mom for this baby for the next 9 months and forever. Because truly, nothing is more important.

Are you prenatals? If not, get on them asap. Eat lots of fruits and veggies and lots of water. Make YOU your next project instead of him....you and your baby don't need someone in your life that's not constant, dependable, loving, mature, responsible, kind, etc. You're much MUCH better off alone if you can't have that.

Thank you so much to all of you, i'm 34 years of age and i was married before i left him due Abuse of alcohol we have a baby girl she is 8yrs whom he adores so much and take responsibiltity on almost everything, Your response makes so much sense i will focus on me and the unborn babe and start eating healthy, i have spoken to my lawyer though to make sure that he takes full responsibility of the baby strarting from now with the Dr"GYNAE appointment. i dont mind going 50/50with him cause i can affort to do so.

It did cross my mind that this guy could have been using me to get up there and quit since i don't understand why he decided to leave, but i did send him the sms about my intention yesterday he called me thrice which i did not respond, i'm just waiting to be calm when i'm adressing certain issues with him.

I will attandending the prenatal classed

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-20-2010 06:24 AM

Good for you!!! I'm glad to hear you're not a teenager going through this, it sounds like you are mature and have your head on straight. You already have one child so you know just how priceless they are and that no man is worth causing them any grief over.

I know at some point you have to grieve over "losing" your guy.....but I think eventually you'll realize you didn't lose anything worth having.

And here comes the lecture..

..next time, take the relationship slowly, don't pay for a place to stay etc and don't let him stay with you. When you're to that point, you'll have a ring on your finger. And, talk to your doc about a good non hormal birth control option.

**sallyskellington** · 07-20-2010 07:51 AM

I don't even know what to say... I feel for you I really do I will keep you in my thoughts. I really wish you the best. I'd hug you if I could.

**pule_p** · 07-21-2010 05:50 AM

My God you people are so good i feel like i'm communicating with you in Person, you so warm, caring and sensitive and yet very firm, why did i not know of this site long then, it would have helped me or influence my decision for the better, I'm so impressed with you, i feel like i have known you for ages though. Wow thank you so much People may the Lord bless you

**pule_p** · 08-16-2010 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

Good for you!!! I'm glad to hear you're not a teenager going through this, it sounds like you are mature and have your head on straight. You already have one child so you know just how priceless they are and that no man is worth causing them any grief over.

I know at some point you have to grieve over "losing" your guy.....but I think eventually you'll realize you didn't lose anything worth having.
Good day all

And here comes the lecture..

..next time, take the relationship slowly, don't pay for a place to stay etc and don't let him stay with you. When you're to that point, you'll have a ring on your finger. And, talk to your doc about a good non hormal birth control option.

My boyfriend called his friend to Speak to me that he need to fix our relationship and also need to come back and take care of me and the baby not sure what to do at this state coz it's been almost 5weeks since he left, Pls advice

**WildChild** · 08-16-2010 08:16 AM

He's had some time to think about it and realize what he/you have to deal with. By all means meet with him, listen to what he has to say. If you need to, tell him you need some time to consider. He is the father and has a responsibilty to the child even if the two of you don't end up back in a relationship.