Thread: How to deal with a friend like this?

I have known her for 20 years. we have a lot of fun together and I like going out with her. Way back 20 years ago, everyone else that was friends with her pretty much stopped being friends with her based on her actions. Always lying, sleeping around, etc. I stayed friends with her mostly because I don't have that many others.

Well, now. she is married, has kids. Her marriage is pretty much gone. she claims that she can never trust her husband again due to the fact that he admitted messing around with ONE girl a few years ago. He has other issues and has been somewhat working on them- he wants to stay married to her.

However, I know that she has been cheating on him since the day they started dating - about 15 years ago. she would bring guys over to my house and mess around with them. I got divorced myself a few years ago, and since then I started going back out with her and I have seen firsthand what she has done with guys. Even though she is still legally married, she has a so-called boyfriend that she has been seeing for the past 2 years. She has also been sleeping over his house about 3 times a month for the last year behind her husbands back. she lies and says she is sleeping over my house or another friends house. Her husband knows there is another guy, but she just claims that he is a friend.

The boyfriend would flip out if he knew about all the other guys that there are! I've seen her make out with guys at bars, she also admitted having sex with another guy we know, etc. She is constantly texting on her phone all day long.

Whenever we go out, we go somewhere she wants to go. Everything revolves around what guy is going to be somewhere. We never just go out to eat, or to a movie. It is all based on bars, and where a man is.

Her boyfriend was in jail for the last month. So I thought she would have more time for me. No! Since he was in jail, she was out messing around with other guys while she could. I know she lied to me a bunch of times when I tried to make plans with her, because she was doing things she doesn't want anyone to know about. Her whole life is a lie. She even told me that she lies so much she doesn't even know what she told to who!! I have caught her in lies so many times but I don't say anything. I pretend I don't know.

Sometimes she tells me about guys she is with and other times I know something is going on because she won't call me back, lies, etc.

Last week we sort of had plans and then she said she couldn't go to the place we were going to. I was so mad because I was looking forward to it. She made up a story about not havng a babysitter. (which makes me laugh because if she had plans to see the boyfriend, she would GET A babysitter no matter what!!). After that I told myself I wasn't going to talk to her anymore, but I didn't want to be on bad terms, so I ended up calling her.

There is so much more, but I can't stand being lied to.

No offense, but it sounds like your friend really has some growing up to do. Who is spending time with her kids while shes out with all these men? Is this is kind of example she wants to set for them? It sounds like shes really in need of attention.. I think you're a really great friend for sticking by her after all these years. Even though she may not admit it, I'm sure shes very thankful to have you as a friend since so many others dropped her like a bad habit. I have friends like that too.. that make bad choices, but yet i stay with them because to me.. the people who tend to make bad choices, lie and seem to be in dire need to guidance, direction and attention.. their the ones that need a friend the most. I think you should really sit her down and talk with her about all of this. She really needs a wake up call before something more serious happens.