Friends with ex......think I may need to take a back seat advice

**snuffie** · 07-28-2010 12:11 PM

The friend and ex in question is someone I have know for many years were an item for 18months and I split with him as I no longer had those "relationship" feelings for him, I doubt I ever did I was young and confused about my feelings.....anyway fast track to now, after about 2 years of bad feeling on his part ect, we are again good friends and share a hobby we both play in a brass band, and he has being a great friend during my recent heart break.
Things have remained completely platonic and will remain this way, however he has a new girlfriend, we have being to a number of different parties, bbq's, events where they have both been (due to mutual friends) and I feel that she is uncomfortable with me being there and the friendship my ex and I have. I know it is a horrible thing to feel as a girlfriend, threatened, worried on edge, I feel that I should maybe withdraw a little to make things easier but I feel if I did this I would possibly isolate myself from my friends.

What would your feelings be and advice?

**kygirl** · 07-28-2010 02:23 PM

I think he is going to have to make that call honestly. If you all are strictly platonic, there really is no reason for her to be uncomfortable because you happen to be hanging out at the same places. Maybe she is just trying to get a grasp on it and make sure it really is harmless and that there aren't feelings still brewing on both sides. I think that's a safe assumption if they haven't been together long. I'd just give her time. As long as he still wants you around, I don't think you should abandon your friends.

**snuffie** · 07-30-2010 10:53 AM

I would really like to explain to her the situation, but this is difficult as his new girlfriend is deaf and I a unable to sign, I feel that this some what isolates her when we have discussions when she is present even though my ex and her boyfriend tries his best to communicate with her, also our joint hobby is being in a brass band playing music and we often send pieces of music and recordings of our band or others.

If you were her would you be upset or concerned?