Is my boyfriend Gay or Bii?

**bella3744** · 08-08-2010 11:26 PM

I have dated this guy since may so it hasnt been very long. He is is widower and was left to raise a 6yr old daughter. He is as good a father as he can be. He owns a company keeps busy and of course when his wife died 2 yrs ago he stopped his traveling. Didnt know much about raising a child because when his wife got pregnant he told her that he would work and that she had to stay home and take care of the child. She would have to raise her. Didnt take much responsibility in raising her because he traveled. By the way he is 44 yrs old. Was married only 5 yrs to a taewan girl. She was about 15 yrs younger than he. I am 11 yrs older than him but i look very much younger than he does.He looks old for his age. The reason I'm questioning if he is gay is because of the way he acts when he has been drinking around men. We stopped at his regular neighborhood bar for some drinks last week and he met up with some guys that he went to a concert with a week before. He was eating a handful of peanuts and then he started throwing peanuts at them to catch their attention, just like a kid and kind of flirty I thought but the men didnt look gayish. He met a male friend of mine the other night and he started playing around with his hat and putting up 2 fingers on his head as his ears. That was weird I thought. He is now on vaction with his daughter for 2 weeks but he is visiting a man friend. Im hispanic I just think that's weird.He's white. Could this be just the culture. Never dated a white man before. Our sex life is good sometimes but not a regular thing, Im very sexual but the only way he wants to do it is doggy stylle. What is up with that? Also he always tells me that he doesnt have very many friends but when he goes places it's with men. He does appear he likes me around. He has acted jealous a couple of times and he plans our weekends and calls me all the time. Is he just not into me sexually? Could he be gay? What else should I look for or what should I do. I have never had any suspiciioons towards any other man I have been with except with him.

**hizenberg** · 08-09-2010 04:05 AM

i dont think that your boyfriend is gay, maybe he is just a lot more sensitive and gentle than most guys are, or it could be that he feels comfortable enough in his own sexuality to be touchey with guys and not feel threatened of people saying he's gay,
as fo him wanting to do it dogy style,most guys have said they like this position as it makes them in charge(ya know how guys have gotta be all manly) and they can get agood look at your body. i doubt he is gay or bi,
only way to know is if you watch porn together and if he likes looking at the men more,theres your answer! lol
and you mentioned your guy is 44,maybe men at that age dont want it as much as younger men?? i doubt he is gay, goodluck with your relationship

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-17-2010 05:08 PM

when his wife died 2 yrs ago he stopped his traveling. Didnt know much about raising a child because when his wife got pregnant he told her that he would work and that she had to stay home and take care of the child. She would have to raise her. Didnt take much responsibility in raising her because he traveled. By the way he is 44 yrs old. Was married only 5 yrs to a taewan girl. She was about 15 yrs younger than he. I am 11 yrs older than him but i look very much younger than he does.

The way I see it, his wife was 29... He perhaps, associated with her friends, younger... You say he states he as very little friends, and his wife only died 2 years ago...

I would think that he is "trying" to obtain friends, with using, what he thinks is "jokes" trying to fit in personally.

And, I don't think that age has anything to do with it, ie) yes he was with someone younger now he is with someone older, that says that he goes for the person, not the age.. But, may be out of wack a little based on perhaps, the way he tried to act younger with his younger wife and her friends, when they were together and before she died and perhaps is a tad lost.

CW

**jns** · 08-17-2010 09:46 PM

44 now, widowed 2 years, puts him at 42 when she died. She was 15 years younger, puts her at 27 when she died. They were married 5 years, means he was 37 and she was 22 when they married. A 6 year old daughter means the daughter came along a year after marriage.

Bella, you didn't describe much of your relationship, but what I got out of it is that he may be looking for a mother for his daughter. You should be through menopause and will not have a child with him. This may be what helps attract him to you. Have you had a conversation with him about what physically attracts him to you?

I'm a white guy and I live in a place with many Hispanic cultures so I may have some insight. Hispanics are very family oriented in general, more than the average northern European descent whites. But in many if not most other aspects, there are no appreciable differences, especially if you factor in such things such as economic status.

As for him being gay, there isn't enough information to say.

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