Beyond rude, or am I over reacting?

**sourpuss** · 08-11-2010 09:40 AM

A friend of mine called yesterday and said she had an hour to kill while her husband was at the doc and could she and her kids come by for a visit. I said, yeah, I'm working (work from home) but could take a break.

So she comes in and her 4 year old is completely out of control! Jumping on the couch, knocking stuff over, going in and out of the house, in and out of my camper, jumping all over everything thing in there. She doesn't say a word to him. Then she proceeds to change her toddler's diaper and throw the dirty one in my kitchen garbage, then asks to borrow $20, then walks in to the kitchen and opens a box of graham crackers and starts feeding her kids.

That's a bit over the top no?

**LanaBear** · 08-11-2010 09:44 AM

Um... slightly (insert sarcasm here)... I just cannot understand people's lack of discipline over their children. Completely disrespectful. My kids would never think about doing stuff like that, well, actually that is a lie, I know they think about it (they are kids and who doesn't want to jump on couches at that age), but would never do it because of the respect I have taught them to have towards others.

It's not as if I'm a mean parent either, but I am a good parent and they were taught and are continuously being taught how to respect others.

Man! Very very frustrating.

**pretzel** · 08-11-2010 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by sourpuss

A friend of mine called yesterday and said she had an hour to kill while her husband was at the doc and could she and her kids come by for a visit. I said, yeah, I'm working (work from home) but could take a break.

So she comes in and her 4 year old is completely out of control! Jumping on the couch, knocking stuff over, going in and out of the house, in and out of my camper, jumping all over everything thing in there. She doesn't say a word to him. Then she proceeds to change her toddler's diaper and throw the dirty one in my kitchen garbage, then asks to borrow $20, then walks in to the kitchen and opens a box of graham crackers and starts feeding her kids.

That's a bit over the top no?

Nope, not at all. It's WAY over the top.

**Little.Chuck** · 08-11-2010 09:53 AM

''then walks in to the kitchen and opens a box of graham crackers and starts feeding her kids.''

WTF? How can she think this is acceptable?! I cant beleive the way some peoples minds work. I would be FURIOUS. Did she repay you or even thank you?? As for the child running riot, thats ridiculous, people should not have children unless they can keep them under control. If she thought her kid would act like that she should have arranged another time to come see you without the youngster. Thats totally unacceptable.

**KMonte85** · 08-11-2010 09:55 AM

holy cow, that's more than just over the top, that sounds absolutely ridiculous!

I guess if anything positive comes from this it is that you now know what to say next time your "friend" and her child decide to pop over for a visit! "SORRY! Verrrrrry busy, maybe some other time!

"

**sourpuss** · 08-11-2010 10:00 AM

I blow her off 9x out of 10 but then I start feeling guilty and give in. I know it's partly my fault because I've never said anything. But I think next time I'm going to suggest that we meet at the park or something and let her know it's because her 4 year old is so out of control that my little apartment can't handle it. I can take 30 minutes from work, but I can't spare another 30 to clean up the tornado mess after they leave.

**SaharaJim** · 08-11-2010 10:32 AM

When I read the first post I was wondering "How close a 'friend' is this?" and the answer seems to be "not very". But i do think you have the answer to your own question. I think you were just "bouncing the idea off friends" and I think that you have 100% agreement.

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-11-2010 10:56 AM

Very rude. If I was going to be asking my friend to borrow 20 bucks, I'd be dang sure I wasn't putting her out further than that (the graham crackers, creating chaos in the house etc) No one wants a dirty diaper in their kitchen trash... who wants to smell pee/poop when they are preparing a meal. She should have ASKED you what would be the best way to get rid of it so that you would have a chance to direct her to the most appropriate way for your house (outside can, etc).

I don't think you are overreacting, I think the whole thing was rude. Going through your cubbords and getting food... unless you guys are like sisters or best buds and you have told her time and again in the past to help herself -- she had no business doing that. Not seeing after her kids, not appologizing for their behavior, attempting to correct them or asking you if its okay if they play with the camper etc...

But because of her foolishness, the next time she wants to 'pop in' I'm guessing you're going to be 'washing your hair'...lol.. so she is only hurting herself by being so inconsiderate.

**sourpuss** · 08-11-2010 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by SaharaJim

When I read the first post I was wondering "How close a 'friend' is this?" and the answer seems to be "not very". But i do think you have the answer to your own question. I think you were just "bouncing the idea off friends" and I think that you have 100% agreement.

Well, we would be close friends if she and her children didn't act like that all the time. Every encounter with her is like this, no joke. I'm actually friends with her husband more than her but he pushes us together because I think that he knows she needs more 'adult time' in her life. While I really like her and we're good friends, I find myself being very resentful of her behavior. She's always asking HUGE favors and imposing herself with the attitude that it's expected because she's 'a full time mom' and I'm single with no kids, so I must have all the time in the world. She gone so far as to ask me to babysit up to 20 hours a week (for free of course), take her kid to swimming lessons (and actually swim with him the entire hour)- twice a week for a month during the summer. Babysit for multiple days and over nights when they had their second kid (for free, again). She once had me stop by the store on the way over for dinner one night and get a specific kind of bubble bath because "_____ just loves bubble baths!" ...um, who doesn't? Get some the next time you're at the store.