Thread: Concerned about her crossdressing boyfriend.

If he can't doesn't want to be committed to you, he needs to tell you that. He kept a secret from you for a very long time so you have every reason to be worried that he could create and keep new secrets now as well. If it would hurt you and upset that he was doing all this stuff out of cross dress mode, its just as understandable that it would upset while he is in cross dress mode.

His fetish isn't a pass to do whatever he wants and have you be okay with it because its his girl persona doing it. No, you are in a relationship with HIM, all of him, even when he is dressed female. If he expects to have different rules for when he's in girl character than he needs to clue you in to that so that you can decide if you want to stay with him through that or not.

Its likely he isn't cheating but merely looking for acceptance and approval from people that share his fetish. Things like this are major self-esteem whoppers, being sexually interested in something that society makes fun of and frowns upon. I am sure its real hard on him when he thinks about it like that so finding people that understand or support his decision to cross-dress is pretty much a healthy thing.

He can make friends, join support groups online... and neither of those shoudl make you feel threatned. But if he's joining dating sites, sending or receiving exlplicit pics or messages... thats totally unnacceptable, IMO.

You must really love this man, to stand by him after he hid so much from you for so long. It sounds like you are trying to be a supportive gf, and for that he should be extra especially respectful of your feelings and go the extra mile in making you feel safe.

I think its time to have a talk about your needs of him, and his needs as well. Allow him to be candid, don't judge, that way you can get him to open up fully to you on whether or not he might feel like he wants to date a man, or another cross dresser... etc. Make it clear that you just want the truth, there has already been too much time wasted on lies and hiding... to let you know what he wants or expects to gain from what he's doing on the internet so that you can decide if its something you think you want to support or walk away from.

He may very well need some time to find himself, it sounds like.. and if he feels he can't do that while remaining faithful to you ... that its only fair that he disclose that now, to put it in the open for you to digest and move on if need be.