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Reply With QuoteWhat does your fiance and his mother think about the whole situation? Why does everyone tip toe around her?
Help me plzzzzzz
Recently my fiances ex with two kids by him. kicked a dent in my car! We went to court and I saved her from going to jail, hummmmm! After, sec court trial she paid for car and we kept the lines of communication open. I became her counselor so to speak. She had emotional issues and needed peace of mind! So I began tlkin to her via text about spiritual enlightenment! We were good! That weekend was their daughters bday party so, we all had a wonderful time. We all ended up at his mothers house, my fiance was suppose to drop her off at a girlfriends house where she had been stayin for three months. He and his mom were takin turns takin care of the kids because of her living arrangements. Well needless to say she didnt make it home that night his two sisters encouraged her to spend the night! To make a lonnnnnnng story short after a week of staying there she pulls out a picture of the two of them (no children on pic) that has been tucked away for all of the three years that we've been together and places in the livin room. ugh! So now, I see the pic and I cut her off! Then she started walking around his moms house wit booty shorts on to add to my woe's! I also have to mention that the sisters have betrayed me! The mother asked her to leave twice already and needless to say its Day 28! Our relationship is in turmoil its worst than was! Help!
What does your fiance and his mother think about the whole situation? Why does everyone tip toe around her?
RIGHT! Well the mother says that we dont live there and why is she causing problems with us? My fiance has also asked her to leave and she told him when she get the rent money together to pay girlfriend but she not working!
Your fiance's mother is likely at the end of her rope regaurdless of your situation , no one likes a house guest that never leaves. She's the mother of her grandkids so she's always going to have a softspot, and to probably try to help etc as she wants her grandkids to have a mom that isn't homeless I am sure. You have your fiance... she has nothing, not even a place to live right now. I am sure your house, your life with your fiance is looking might appealing to her right about now. Maybe she is desperate and hoping for a reconcilliation. She knows she doesn't have a shot with your fiance, so she is trying to get in his sister's ears, his mothers ears.... anyone.
She likely put that pic up just to get to you, trying to start drama, hoping you guys will fight... thats what she wants, don't give her that. Your fiance has done nothing wrong... he didn't allow her to stay with his mom, his mom did. He didn't put the pic up, she did... he didn't ask her to wear those bootyshorts etc. I am sure you are stressed out over the whole situation... but keep in mind the game she is running, and let yourself be reminded these are the actions of a desperate, obviously emotionally unstable (the kicking your car) woman.
Be kind like you would be to any other human but thats it. Don't be her shoulder to cry on, don't be her friend, if you bump into her, exchange pleasantries and move about your business. She's trying to get into your head, and only you can allow or dis-allow her to.. don't let her.
For now while she is staying at grandma's, don't spend time over there. Invite grandma and the sisters to your house for sunday dinners or bbq's etc.. drop the kids off and go home, pick the kids up and take them home... but don't hang out over there. They can't expect you to be comfortable around all that and you don't have to.
Just take a deep breath and know you have the man you love, she is the past... they didn't work out for a reason and you guys have been together as long as you have and are STILL together for a good reason. Let her make her silly attempts to be cute, let her wear a t-shirt with his face on it... it only makes her look rediculous.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Very good advice, but im havin mood swings at this point! Im looking like I couldn't practice, what i preached! She is bad news , I failed mention that the car incident was only the end she also tried to say that he sexually harassed her and filed charges against him....later to be dropped, but at that point the state picked them up! He made out ok but with lawyer fees its a mess!
When you say it is worse than it was, are you feeling that it has always been in turmoil?Our relationship is in turmoil its worst than was! Help!
That's a beautiful thing, but you know we can't save the world, you can't save her, and you can't save him, I'm wondering when you met him that you didn't feel sorry for him for what he was going through, kind of your like the "knight" trying to help people, both him and her but off course there are boundries.So I began tlkin to her via text about spiritual enlightenment!
So are you saying that your fiance also does not live at home anymore, rather with you?Well the mother says that we dont live there and why is she causing problems with us?
She's down and out.. She has no job, no income and she's behind in rent for possibly quite a few weeks, now she will free load at his Mother's house until it gets high in tension. If the Mother looks after the children, she will think that's a tool, bargaining tool, as the Mother will fear not seeing her grandchildren but is she glad that she is seeing her children?
Do they therefore stay with you and your fiance as well? And, how do you get on with them and how do you really feel about your fiance?
If your in love with each other, he also has to be careful perhaps that she doesn't run off with the children, she seems to be an attention seeker, lost soul... This is tricky because in one way he has to continue to be nice so to speak, she's the Mother of his children and Grandma has to be nice, she still wants access and to see them, on the otherhand, she's using his Mother and at the same time, making you feel un-comfortable.
Surely, you don't think that your fiance would take her back? It doesn't matter if she has a photo, is a dreamer, if you know your safe, your relationship is strong, you have to ignore that and be a bigger person. Because you know your safe.
Now that the Police are aware she is a lier, the Courts, she will also never be able to pull that stunt again either, so therefore, your also safe.
People do make their own beds and then have to lie in them...
Feeling sorry for her may be a better way to go, so that you both understand the love for each other and that she can not and will not ruin that ever.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
No, our relationship was great before this happened! She was at odds with the family and now the tanles have turned!
They were already separated when we met.
Yes we live together, but I would visit three or four x's a week and he... everyday!
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