My heart is confused...

**Chelsmir** · 08-18-2010 05:18 AM

So I'm 18, about to be 19 in less than a month, and I've had a problem for the past couple months. I was living with my friends for a while. But I just moved out. Anyway, A couple months ago, I think I realized that I was in love with my friend's boyfriend. I have dreams about him, I stare at him. I pretty much love anything he says or does. But I can't tell if he feels the same way and it hurts.. I really have feelings for him that I can't ignore, but I don't know what to do. It's freaking me out because I haven't felt this strongly about someone since my baby's dad. He's one of my best friend's boyfriends, but I can't just erase feelings like this.. Please, I'm begging for some advice. What do I dooo?

**Mes T** · 08-18-2010 05:32 AM

You must not pursue your feelings. He is with someone else right now, and you HAVE to respect that. You're disrespecting him, his girlfriend, and mostly yourself, by entertaining the thought of doing anything at all about this.

Let's say, best case scenario, he learns of your feelings and leaves his girlfriend for you. Then what? What do you think would happen? I'll tell you exactly what - he will compare you to her, he will put you on a pedestal and be disappointed every time you can't live up to his heightened expectations... Every time you have a fight, or something goes sour, he will think to himself, "THAT is what I left my girlfriend for?"

These things hardly ever work out well in real life.

I think you need to forget about this guy and find someone who is available, to be the man that you need in your life.

**Chelsmir** · 08-20-2010 05:14 AM

Yeah. I completely agree with you. I'm never going to tell him how I feel, in fear of that happening. I would never want to be in that position. It should be simple to just let these emotions slide, if I try hard enough. I just don't wanna be the person everyone looks at and thinks 'home wrecker'.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-20-2010 06:00 AM

Honey? Your signature who does that relate to, your baby's daddy, or this man?

I think those words hold a very valid key.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-20-2010 06:04 AM

I re-read your other thread that I responded to...

I encourage others to read it.

Your heart is with your daughter, and your seeking someone to help you I think, you are missing her, you are missing love and your confused, yes

It's your daughter that's your all... did you seek advice there on the situation?

CW