Is it men's nature to lie??

**rhiannon34** · 08-19-2010 01:34 PM

I really need to know, has anyone here ever been with a man that never once lied to them? I haven't. Every last bf I ever had lied all the time. One told me he had cancer, that his daughter died. My current bf has started lieing about stupid things. How his phone broke, he called in sick to work, hid at his mom's all day, and just pretended like he went to work.

I also want to know do you believe that sometimes people act in a certain way that encourages people to lie to them? My ex mother-in-law, who was a little bit of a whack job and blamed me for everythging her son ever did, used to tell me that I made it to where he lied because of how I acted when he told the truth. So if he is smoking crack behind my back I should take it well, so that he will keep being honest? Really?? I must, I must be the world's best at making men lie, cause they lie to me all the time. Including my son. And about stupid stuff, that's what really makes me mad!!

Sorry, about the rant, but I seriously have the red-butt right now.

**LanaBear** · 08-19-2010 02:06 PM

I don't think anymore that it is in a women's nature to lie. This question could easily be flipped. Has a man ever been with a woman that never once lied to them?

People lie, some more so than others... The world is not an honest place unfortunately.

Some people lie out of fear of making the other person mad, a whole other fault of the liar and the person being lied to. Some people lie to make themselves look superior. Liars lie for all sorts of reasons. But, it's not fair to generalize because this is definitely not a gender specific problem.

**Fallen1** · 08-19-2010 02:52 PM

I totally agree with Lana. It's not a just a man thing, women lie also. It's just a people thing.

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-19-2010 03:09 PM

I think its human nature to lie, not mans nature. No I haven't been with a man that never lied... but I've never had a female friend that didn't lie either... I've never in my life met anyone that spoke the truth in every word out of their mouth.

Girls lie in relationships A LOT. They lie about how many sex partners they've had.. they lie about sexual experiences, they like about whether or not they are having an orgasm (i.e... faking it, etc)

So while I've been told everything from white lies to deal breaker lies by men... I don't think its anymore in their nature than it is in a females.

**wednesdaymorning** · 08-19-2010 03:42 PM

Like the above posters have said, it's in human nature to lie. "Everybody lies." It's very true. I've lied in relationships (though not about things like cancer). My boyfriend once told me his uncle died so he could get out of dinner with my parents. Imagine how shocked I was when I saw him a few months later. That kind of thing is ridiculous. I think, what it is, is that most (not all) women lie to protect themselves when they absolutely feel they must. Men, on the other hand come up with elaborate lies for every little thing. "Did you enjoy the dinner I just made you?" "I don't know! I lost feeling in my mouth!!! My tongue exploded! Ah!"

So you're probably never going to meet someone completely honest. I think it's best to just lay out the law of the land. "Be honest with me or it's over before it begins."

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-19-2010 04:13 PM

Mmmm, Morals and communication come to mind.

If two people have great communication and both have morals, there usually is no need for lying, as there is no jealousy, no assumptions and good communication, therefore, they can discuss anything, good or bad...

A person that talks about death of a child, an illness, is generally an attention seeker and worse, someone whom is aiming at free loading, using the other person financially... So you have to be wary of using your intiution and call that out before you get too involved, seems like you did.

A person who is on crack, will always lie, blame you they are addicted and will lie to hide or lie and steal to get more, again be careful whom you hook up with...If the Mother blames you, for his lying, she needs a reality check of why she allowed him to get hooked and stay hooked for so long, not blame other people, she has her own guilt there and trying to shift the blame.

I truly believe that past is past, so no need to bring it up, therefore, no lies.. Present is present, there is no room for lies, or there is no relationship, as there is no trust.

CW

**sourpuss** · 08-19-2010 04:32 PM

I agree, everyone lies. But I do think it's mens nature to exaggerate on most things. My dad even told me he thinks that's a guy thing. Guys, from the time they are little boys, are always in competition with one another so they are always trying to one-up someone or something to get ahead. Ahead in sports, with women, etc. I'm not talking about flat out lying, but you know what I mean.

**LanaBear** · 08-19-2010 04:42 PM

The 24 point deer or the 50 pound trout that they shoot or catch every weekend.

**sourpuss** · 08-19-2010 04:53 PM

Totally! Every fisherman but me catches 15 fish a day and they're all over 18" long. uh huh....

**rhiannon34** · 08-19-2010 05:43 PM

Thanks for your replies. I do agree I think everyone lies or has lied at some point. I certainly am no angel, I have lied. Not ever about anything major or just to make stuff up, but mabye to keep myself out of trouble or whatever. I don't mean to generalize or sound chauvanistic, I have known plenty of women that lied, I am not in relationships with them though, and I don't think I have known near as many women who lied on the scale that the men I have known do.

I have kicked my bf out of the house over this, I just don't know right now if I will still see him at all, I just refuse to ever live like that again. Always finding out about things he's hiding from me, not being able to believe what he says. He considers his lies little white lies. What constitutes a white lie anyway? I kinda feel like him not going to work and hanging out at his mom's (if that's really where he was) several times and then pretending like he was at work all day, bordering on major lie. But doing that while we had been having discussions about him being truthful with me, a little more than I am willing to handle. All while I am paying the majority of the bills and busting my butt every day makes it a little worse too. I only found out cause I looked at his check stubbs stashed in his underwear drawer. My first thought was, what is he up to to take off work and hide it? Is he seeing someone? That's the main problem with hiding and little white lieing, you always wonder what else there is.